Glad to Meet His Ghost
I know it will sound crazy. I honestly
used to be a normal person before that moment. I am not sure what I am
considered now though. You see, it felt like my eyes were playing tricks on me.
I started seeing a girl where before there was none. For a while I thought it’d
go away as soon as I got a good night’s rest. Turns out it’s more of a
permanent glitch. I truly keep on seeing her.
Natalie put her
pen down and stared at the nonsense she was writing in her diary. What in the world am I thinking? If anyone
sees this, they’ll send me straight to some nuthouse.
“Ugh… I have to
get it out though. It’s driving me nuts!” she muttered to herself.
“Hm? Did you say
anything?” asked her father, looking at her over his newspaper.
“What? Nothing!”
she hurried to say and shook her head.
Right. Writing all sorts of crazy in my
diary on the floor of our living room. Really smart. Good thing Dad isn’t
peeking what I’m writing.
She stubbornly
got hold of her pen again. Hmmm… let’s
see…
It was a typical afternoon and I was done
with classes, so I had taken the train back home. Fumio was there too. He was
talking on the phone, but even though I was standing right next to him I didn’t
understand a word. He was always speaking in Japanese on the phone when he
wasn’t in class. How odd. He never seemed to have any friends when I saw him.
And he couldn’t be calling someone in Japan so often either, right? The bills would
be huge. Anyway…
He got off three stations before our
neighborhood. He and I lived with a couple of blocks’ distance. I had seen him
doing it in the past, but this time it really pricked my interest. I must sound
like a stalker doing that, don’t I? Anyway,
he was walking down the street, talking on his phone, and all of a sudden, a
little girl was right next to him, skipping happily and holding his hand.
She had appeared out of nowhere, I swear. She looked like she was an elementary school student, had
long, black hair and pale skin, similar to Fumio’s. His sister? I don’t think
so. If he had one, I would have known. He’s been living with his grandparents
ever since he moved in the neighborhood. Stupidly enough I ran to his
direction, calling at him. The little girl ran off in the crowd and Fumio after
staring at me for a long moment followed her.
The moment
Natalie heard her mother’s footsteps as she walked into the room she snapped
her diary shut and stood up. “I’m going out. Do you need anything?”
“Oh, we’ve run
out of milk and butter,” her mother said.
“Fine, I’ll go
buy some.”
Natalie ran to
her room, quickly threw her diary in the drawer under her desk, put on the
first clothes she saw lying about and rushed out the back door. It was obvious
that her mother had attacked the garden recently. Yellow and orange leaves were
neatly piled in a corner. Mrs. Tilia was known for her obsession of racking the
yard every day, all autumn long. It was already getting dark, so the her
canaries had already quieted, sleeping or making themselves comfortable in the
fake branches in their cages. Natalie never liked birds much, but those
canaries were there since forever. Her mother loved them.
She took her
bike and exited the yard. The air was chilly, and the neighborhood quiet. They
didn’t get many cars driving around at that hour, except the ones of the
neighbors, so Natalie barely paid any attention as she rode down the street. A
couple of squares away from her house, Natalie pushed the brakes hard, coming to
a halt with a loud squealing sound. The lights in Fumio’s house were on.
Today the weather was just like the day
he first moved here, wasn’t it? she
mused, her mind already replaying the whole memory.
* * * * *
It had been a
Saturday, twelve years ago. Natalie was riding her bike on her way to a
friend’s home, like she used to do every weekend. There had been a moving truck
parked outside the new house, and it had drawn her attention. An Asian couple
standing next to the truck, talking with the movers. The woman had been wearing
a funny looking robe, which a while later Natalie learned that was a kimono.
But what had drawn her attention back then had been that boy sitting on the
pavement, holding a piece of paper.
He had pitch
black hair and small eyes, completely different from all her friends. He was
about her age. He was making a face, as if he was about to cry. Maybe he had lost his friends because of the
move, Natalie had thought back then and had decided to go introduce
herself.
“Hi, there!” she called from across the
street, waving her hand happily. At first it was as if the boy hadn’t noticed
her at all. “Hey!” she called again.
Slowly he lifted
his head, as if he’d finally heard her. He had such a sad expression on his
face that it startled her. She still remembered clutching her fists, as if it
would somehow make her braver, and walking towards him. From up closer she
heard the couple speaking in a language she couldn’t understand.
“I’m Natalie,”
she’d told him stretching out her hand.
He had stared at
it for a few seconds, then at her face. He didn’t look like he was intending to
stand up and introduce himself either. Natalie was starting to believe he
didn’t understand what she was saying.
“Do you speak
English?”
He kept starting
at her. Eventually he nodded. He stood up, folded the paper, and put it in his
pocket. “Fumio,” he muttered.
“That’s your
name?”
He nodded. Finally, he speaks! Among others, she
had been a rather impatient child, and Fumio’s slow replies were really getting
on her nerves.
“Let’s be
friends then. I live nearby.”
The Asian woman
approached them, placing a hand over Fumio’s shoulder. She smiled at Natalie a
little and asked Fumio something in their strange language. In return, Fumio
shook his head. Her smile faded away and she looked at him in disapproval.
“I… I cannot,”
he said in broken English and ran inside the house.
* * * * *
I’d better leave. I truly am starting to
feel like I’m stalking him now,
thought Natalie, and started for the super market. She had to hurry; it was
nearly closing time. When she locked her bike it was 20:50 already.
Fumio has always been a weird one though, she thought, as she tried to decide
which butter to buy. He moved here with
his grandparents from Japan. I never learned about his parents, why he moved,
why he always has this cold, gloomy look on his face. He never approached
anyone at school. Even now that we’ve graduated and are going to the same
college, he hasn’t tried talking to me even once.
She finally
picked a package of butter and moved on to the milks.
Why do I even bother? It’s almost
becoming an obsession.
“This seriously
can’t be healthy…” Natalie murmured to herself as she placed the groceries on
the counter. The cashier looked at her curiously for a second, and Natalie’s
cheeks turned a bright shade of pink. “Don’t mind me,” she said shyly, as she
paid and hurried out of the store.
Jee. I should just stop speaking my mind
out loud. I’ve almost convinced myself that I’m a nutcase.
* * * * *
Fumio was lying
down on his futon, staring at the origami cranes hanging from his ceiling.
It seems that she followed me today. But
why? And why did I run off? That was so stupid. I must have looked like a total
idiot.
“Fumio! Help me
out! Come on!” Mariko grabbed his arm and kept pulling it over and over again.
“Fine, fine. Cut
it out. Are you trying to rip my arm off? I’ll help you.”
A wide smile
spread across her face. “Good then.” Satisfied, she went back to making paper
boats.
“How many more
are we supposed to make?” Fumio asked. There were already piles and piles of
paper boats covering the table. “Those seem more than enough to me.”
“No! We need
more! More!” Mariko cried stubbornly. “The TV said it’s going to rain, so we
need lots to put in the ponds!” she continued excitedly and put a lollipop in
her mouth.
“Hey, it’s not
good for you to eat this many. Your teeth will…” Fumio started to say.
“Hm?” Mariko
looked at him with her childish eyes. Her face resembled a frog’s the way her
cheeks puffed up.
“Never mind.” It’s not like anything of this sort can
happen to you anymore. “What colors should I use?”
“Take the green
ones. And the pink,” she said mischievously.
“You’re giving me the pink ones again?” Fumio scoffed.
“Of course. I
don’t like pink.”
“Then why do we need pink boats?!” he
exclaimed.
“We can’t leave
pink out. We need all colors!”
“I just can’t
beat your logic, Mar–” Fumio’s sentence was cut as his bedroom door opened.
“Dinner is
ready,” his grandmother said. “Come eat with us, Fumio. I made your favorite.”
“Oh, yum. I’ll
be right there.” Fumio stood up and Mariko followed. “No, no, no. We’ve talked about this. You stay here.
I’ll be back.”
“I want to eat
too!” Mariko scowled and clutched Fumio’s sleeve. “I’m coming.”
“No, you stay here. I’ll be back.”
Mariko fell on
the futon, face-first on the pillow. “You’re so unfair!”
“Shh. I’ve been
doing you every favor. Won’t you do this one little thing for me? Make some
more boats and I’ll be back.”
She half-smiled.
“I’ll get you back for it later. Don’t forget.”
“Sheesh. At
times like that you’re totally creepy,” Fumio murmured as he closed the door
behind him. His grandparents would probably not notice Mariko either way, but
he wanted to be on the safe side either way. After all… she seemed like she had seen her this afternoon at the station.
What if she truly had?
“What took you
so long? Your dear old Ojii-chan is hungry. Take a seat already,” Mr. Fukazawa,
Fumio’s grandfather said with a toothy grin.
“I’m sorry. I
was… uh, on the phone.”
“Oh, that
girlfriend again?” Mrs. Fukazawa teased.
“Obaa-chan!”
Fumio called, turning red. “There’s no girlfriend.”
“Of course there
is. Don’t be shy. I’ve wanted to meet the girl that’s stolen your heart. You
talk to her for hours on the phone. You can’t fool your Obaa-chan.”
“I… I am not
talking to my girlfriend on the phone, I tell you!” To further prove his point,
Fumio grabbed his chopsticks and stuffed his mouth with steaming rice until he
couldn’t speak even if he wanted.
“Hai, hai.
Whatever you say,” his grandmother agreed, smiling. “Take some of these too. I
made them especially for you,” she continued, and filled his dish with food.
“Obaa-chan!
Ican’teatallofthose!” exclaimed Fumio, his mouth still full of rice.
“Tsk, tsk. Don’t
speak with your mouth open. What would your girlfriend say if she saw you now?”
His grandpa just
snickered and went back to his food. “Can’t fool her, kid. Just bring over the
girl to meet her already.”
It’s pointless. They’re
both so certain I have a girlfriend. I can’t even begin to explain what Mariko
is!
Fumio fell
quiet.
But what was Natarie doing back there? The thought kept coming back to him,
over and over again, overlapping everything he tried to focus on.
She was always somewhat
different than the rest. She blended easily, made friends, was part of the
group, both in school and out of it. Still, it looked like she was trying to
get him to participate as well. When nobody asked to have him on their team in
P.E. she did and when the others teased him she stood up for him.
Really odd, considering I always treated
her with apathy in the least.
Even Mariko
seemed slightly interested in her, whose world revolved around Fumio.
“Thanks for the
food,” Fumio said, picked up his dish and dumped it in the sink. “I’ll go to
bed early.”
His grandmother
nodded and gave him a knowing look. At least the light coming underneath his
door was giving him away. “Goodnight, sweet dreams,” she told him nonetheless.
Mariko stood up,
skipping around the room on one foot, giggling all the way.
Fumio rubbed his
neck, which had banged hard against the wall. “You’re gonna kill me one of
these days, you know.”
“Everything
alright in there, dear?” came his grandma’s voice from the kitchen.
“I’m fine, just
tripped. I’m still alive!” As Fumio pushed himself to his feet, he noticed the
paper boats on his desk had multiplied by the thousands. “You know, I won’t be
carrying all those tomorrow with me.”
“Awww! Come on,
Fumio!” complained Mariko.
“No. You take a
bag and carry them. There are some books I want to take tomorrow, I won’t have
space for all.”
“You’re so
unfair.” Mariko sat on the cushions on the floor with an annoyed look on her
face.
“I’m a grown-up. Unlike you. And I’m heading to
bed. Goodnight.” Since Fumio was already wearing his pajamas, he just turned
off the light and slid under the covers.
“Me too, me too!”
Mariko lied down, pressing her back against Fumio’s.
Fumio glanced at
her over his shoulder. “You’re going to sleep?”
Mariko shook her
head. “I’m not feeling sleepy.” She lifted her hand, revealing the GameBoy she
was holding.
Fumio muffled a
yawn and nodded.
“Does it bother
you?” she asked shyly.
“No, it’s fine.
You do it every night after all. Just–”
‘Turn off the
volume. Yeah, I know.”
Fumio turned
back to his side. “Good then. Good night.”
* * * * *
Natalie didn’t
see Fumio on her way to class. He wasn’t at the bus stop when she passed it
with her bicycle, neither in the train station when she waited to board. She
was wondering if he was playing hooky for the day.
She sat in the
auditorium, waiting for the first period to begin. She would have loved to have
slept in late, but it was impossible with her mother telling her to get up
every five minutes. She lazily took out a pen and a notebook, although she’d
probably take no notes. Neurology 101 was the most boring class ever. And the
professor wasn’t helping – at all.
Slowly the room
started filling, and Fumio made his appearance.
So he came after all.
He looked like
he did every day. Somewhat gloomy, somewhat sad, and alone.
Maybe I did imagine
that little girl after all.
For a second he
looked up at her. It only proved to be him searching for empty seats. He moved
to the other side of the auditorium, far away from her reach and view.
Not today, mister! I want to talk to you!
She picked up
her stuff , pushed through the arriving students and she followed him. There
were more than enough empty seats for her near Fumio. He always picked the less
crowded places. She sat right next to him. At first he didn’t seem to notice
her at all.
That is so like him, Natalie thought. Time to break the ice.
“Good morning.”
His eyebrows
lifted in surprise. He soon turned back to his usual gloomy expression though.
“Oh. Good morning.”
“How are you?”
He stared at her
for a second, as if considering what he was going to say. I didn’t ask such a difficult question, dammit! “I’m good.”
“Nice.” Ugh… not even a “ how about you”?!
Natalie was
thinking of a new way to attempt starting a conversation, but before she had
the chance, the professor started talking. Fumio took notes as if his life
depended on it. He was totally absorbed. Natalie was so sleepy that she barely
understood half the things she listened. Instead, she leaned her head on her
arm, following Fumio’s pencil as he scribbled down a mixture of Latin and
Japanese characters.
Your notes make absolutely no sense, you
know… how can you think in two languages at once anyway?
Sometimes she
thought she heard a whispering voice coming from Fumio’s side, but Fumio’s lips
weren’t moving. The rest of the surrounding seats were vacant. It was just her,
Fumio and his coat and bag on the next seat. For a blink of an eye she thought
she saw the coat move.
Silly. How can a coat move? thought Natalie and rubbed her sleepy
eyes. Fumio seemed to notice and he scribbled down some more.
Eventually the
incredibly boring lecture was over and the auditorium emtpied. Natalie stared
at the coat. It moved again!
“Class is over,”
Fumio said, standing up. He followed Natalie’s look to his coat, thoughtful for
a second, then picked it up. Of course there was nothing other than Fumio’s bag
underneath.
“Uh? Um, yeah, I
know.” Natalie stood up as well. By then, Fumio was already halfway to the
door. “Hey, wait!”
He turned
around, frowning. “What?”
“Um… you
remember who I am, right? I mean, we know each other.”
“You’re Natarie.”
“My name is Natalie. With an ‘L’,” Natalie corrected
him.
“Right. My bad.
I can’t pronounce ‘L’ very well. We don’t have that sound in my language,”
replied Fumio coldly.
“But you just
said it just fine!”
“I suppose I
can’t say it in your name only then.” Natalie noticed a faint smile on his
face. Was he messing with her?
“Fine. So is my
name all you remember about me?”
Fumio shrugged.
“There’s a few more things. We were in the same class at school. You wore piggy
tails until high school. There was this one time in P.E. that you fell and–”
Natalie
remembered that one time far too well and turned red at just the thought that
Fumio had noticed something like that. “Okay, okay, you remember me. Got it.”
“So, Natarie,
what do you want?”
“Wh– uh, what do
I … Hmm… we haven’t talked in a while…” We’ve
never had an actual conversation! “… and I wanted to see how you’re doing.
We go to the same college for two years now and we rarely see each other. You
shouldn’t be a stranger. It’s not logical, is it?”
“I find it
perfectly logical. We never were friends,” stated Fumio matter-of-factly.
“Right…” Okay, cut to the chase, otherwise he’ll
leave you behind and run off before you ask him! “Fumio?”
“Yes?”
“Why did you run
away when I called you yesterday at the station?”
“At what
station?”
“Eh? At the train station! I saw you, with that
little girl, and then you two just–”
“I’m sorry. I
don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t take the train yesterday. You
must have mistaken me for someone else. Now if you’d excuse me, I have
somewhere to be.” Fumio’s steps became more and more rushed and soon enough
Natalie was left behind.
“Whaaaat? He
wasn’t even there he says… am I going crazy or is he trying to drive me crazy? He definitely was there… I saw him… or
didn’t I? So confusing!” yelled Natalie at the empty corridor. A confused
woman peeked at her from a door, and she felt totally self-conscious. “Don’t mind me,” she said awkwardly and
ran down the stairs quickly.
* * * * *
“That was
close…” Fumio whispered once there was enough distance between Natalie and
himself.
“What was?”
Mariko asked, skipping out of an empty room cheerfully.
“Natarie came to
me asking questions. Good thing you weren’t around.”
“What does it
matter if I were there?”
“Well… she may
have known you were there,” admitted Fumio.
Mariko’s face
lit up. “No way! She would? Aaah, it would have been so nice if somebody other
than you cared about where I was!” hummed Mariko and pulled a lollipop from her
pocket. “Not that you’re boring, but you know.”
“I don’t really.
And it’s not a good thing. If you see
her coming near me, warn me. And go somewhere away too, okay?”
“Fine, fine. You
worry too much. Fumio is stupid! Stupid! Fumio is so, so stupid!” sang Mariko. He
tried to make her quiet down, even though nobody else would hear her.
“Please, Mariko,
keep it down.”
Mariko grinned,
waving around her lollipop. “Fumio is stuuupid!” she continued to sing in a
louder voice.
“I’m going to
class. You can sit here and sing all you like.” Fumio glanced over his shoulder
as he pretended to walk away.
“Me too, me
too!” Mariko yelled, jumping on Fumio’s back.
“Ouchhh! Mariko,
you’re heavy!”
“You’re too
weak!” she complained as she jumped on the ground.
“Maybe if you
stopped eating those lollipops…”
“Never!” Mariko
called as she ran ahead. “You can’t catch me!”
“I’m not
racing.” I’m already beat anyway. I’m
like your babysitter. It’s exhausting.
For the rest of
the classes, Fumio tried to avoid Natalie. He stepped into the classrooms in the
last minute so she couldn’t change seats, and when Mariko sat down next to him
he dropped his coat on her head to hide her. Natalie was suspicious of that
coat since that morning, but Mariko wasn’t there when it was time for Fumio to
take his coat.
In the last two
periods Mariko was completely gone anyway. The rain had started, and she was
outside, filling all the little ponds with her paper boats. There was a pretty
good chance he wouldn’t see her again until he got home. She got like this in
rainy days.
At last the rain
seemed to have stopped, so Fumio headed to the library. He had forgotten his
umbrella, but he really needed to borrow some books. He had no idea how he
would keep them dry though.
“Fumio!” Natalie
called at him from the classroom door.
Oh, no. She found me.
“What is it?” He
didn’t know how longer he could put up the act about Mariko, but the whole
thing was driving him mad. Why was Natalie sticking to him like a leech?
“Nothing much.
You just disappeared on me earlier. Where are you heading?”
Fumio narrowed
his eyes. “The library.” Just tell me
you’re allergic to books already.
“Oh, great. I
wanted to get a book as well. Let’s go together.”
Damn.
To Fumio’s
relief, Natalie hardly tried to speak at all during their walk to the library.
Above them the sky was roaring with thunder, and Fumio worried every time about
the rain starting again. As soon as Natalie got lost behind some bookshelves in
the library he picked up hurriedly the books he needed, hoping she’d lose him.
“You’re done
too?” asked a far too familiar voice though as soon as he reached the
librarian’s desk.
Fumio swallowed
down his annoyance and nodded.
When he was
handing the books over, the loudest clap of thunder so far echoed. “Aww, it’s
raining again.” Natalie was looking for something in her bag.
“You go ahead. I
think I’ll stay back until the rain lets up.”
“What are you
talking about? It could be raining until tomorrow.”
“I can’t fit my
books in the bag. They’ll get wet.”
“Don’t be
silly,” said Natalie, pulling him up. “We can share my umbrella.”
“No, really, you
don’t have to–”
“But I do. Come on!”
Fumio didn’t
have time for another objection. They were already crossing the street and
heading for the train station. How did it
end up like this? he wondered.
Natalie wasn’t forcing
a conversation to him this time. Instead, she was listening to music from her
MP3. Somehow, this was maddening Fumio more than her questions. They came to a
halt at a traffic light. Natalie was tapping her foot against the wet pavement,
while rain pelted on the umbrella above them. Fumio looked up at it. Mariko
would love its fuchsia color. She had one just like this back home. Fumio
always forgot to take an umbrella even on rainy days, so he ended up tucking
himself under Mariko’s, getting laughs from all the boys in his class. Mariko
always supported him though. She’d yell at everyone until they would let Fumio
alone.
“Come on,
slowpoke. Stop staring at my umbrella like that. The light’s green,” said
Natalie, nudging him on the side.
He kept up with
her easily. “So… why did you want to learn about the girl?”
“Come again?”
asked Natalie, taking off her headphones.
“The girl you
were asking about. Why are you interested?”
“Are you talking
about the girl I saw with that other Asian
I mistook you for?”
Fumio glanced at
her face with narrowed eyes. She was grinning. “Yes. The one you thought that was me.”
“Of course.” Her grin got a little wider.
“I suppose this other Asian guy
looked lonely. I was surprised to see him with somebody else, let alone a
little girl.”
“But it was
definitely not me,” Fumio reminded her.
Natalie was
nodding. “I got that. There’s a bunch of
Asian guys that look like you in the area.”
“Natarie…? Are
you making fun of me?” At the sound of her mispronounced name she puffed her
cheeks.
“Me? Of course
not,” she assured him with a look that said the exact opposite. “Okay, no, I
don’t believe you. But I’m not pushing it. It’s fun talking to you in general.
You always made me think you were some sort of shut-in. I’ll let you tell me
about the little girl at your own time.”
“How are you so
sure I’ll tell you eventually?”
“You could call
it a hunch.”
“I can’t make
any promises. But if I had to pick the most trustworthy-looking person from our
class, it may have been you.”
Natalie stopped
abruptly. “Really? I thought you didn’t even like me.”
Fumio shrugged.
“I don’t know you well enough to say if I like you or not. But you don’t seem
too bad.”
“Is that
supposed to be a compliment?” Natalie said mistrustingly.
“You were a bit
of a drama queen though,” added Fumio.
“A what?! Where did that come from?”
“There was this
time when those two bullies from our class took something from me… what were
their names? I can’t even remember. Anyway, you saw them and came barging in,
yelling and screaming.”
“I… uh…” Natalie
had started blushing. “I don’t remember that happening.”
“You don’t?” It
was obvious that she was lying. Fumio remember it very clearly though.
* * * * *
It was about
half a year after Fumio had moved from Japan, and we was starting to understand
English better. He hadn’t tried approaching anyone and was always alone,
staring at an old drawing of Mariko, or drawing something on his own.
Two boys from
the other class, infamous bullies of his year, approached him.
“What’s up, Small
Eyes? Are you looking at that baby drawing again?”
Fumio had slowly
looked up at them, having no intention of answering.
“Did the cat eat
your tongue? Answer me!” said the first, pushing him back.
Fumio glared at
them once and then turned back to his drawing.
“Hey! Don’t
ignore him!” demanded the second boy.
That was when
Natalie had jumped into the scene. “Leave him alone! He hasn’t done anything to
you!”
“And what do you
care? It’s none of your business, Piggy Tails,” spat one of the boys.
While Fumio was
looking at the drawing, pretending to ignore all three of them, the first boy
grabbed his drawing. This had drawn Fumio’s attention, although he said
nothing, just looked at the paper in the boy’s hand.
“Want it back?”
Fumio kept staring. “Alright then. I suppose you can make one again.” And just
like that, he had shred the drawing to pieces.
“You!” Natalie
called and ran to the boy, trying to punch him. The boy though, was twice
Natalie’s size and didn’t seem to feel her hits much. “Say,” punch, “you’re,”
punch, “sorry!” another punch.
The boys just
grinned. The other one took Natalie’s scarf and they both run off, chuckling.
“Why don’t you
do anything?!” Natalie demanded furiously. “They ruined your stuff!”
“It’s okay,”
said Fumio.
“It’s not okay! They–”
“It’s okay,”
repeated Fumio. “Go take your scarf.”
“I can’t. They
won’t give it back,” said Natalie with a pout.
“Then don’t ask for it. Sneak behind them and just
take it.” Fumio remembered thinking that the kids at this school always made a
big deal out of very small things. There were more important things you could
lose than a drawing or a scarf. Didn’t any of them see it?
Natalie had
seemed like she would have followed Fumio’s advice back then, only a while
later she came back empty-handed. After that Fumio had gone to a teacher and
she had taken over from that point on. Fumio didn’t know if Natalie had ever
learned who had told the teacher, but after that she wasn’t bugged again.
* * * * *
“Well, I might
remember it. But just a little,” admitted Natalie. “But I couldn’t have been this dramatic.”
Fumio shrugged.
“It depends on how you look at it.”
Soon they
reached the train station and they parted ways. Natalie felt impressed with
herself. She hadn’t expected to get so much out of Fumio. That had never happened before. Sure, he hadn’t
admitted that there was a girl
yesterday, but for a split second Natalie was sure she’d seen her again today
anyway. This was progress.
“Sis, what are
you drooling at the hall for? Come on in, close the door. You’re letting all
the cold in,” called Natalie’s brother from the living room.
“Shut up, Mike,”
Natalie growled. “I’m home!” she called.
“Yeah, we felt
it. The house has dropped at least ten degrees by now,” Michael noted.
“I was telling
that to Mom, smarty-pants,” she said and rushed to her room.
Michael wasn’t a
bad kid really. He was descent – for an older brother. He had his moments, and
looked out for her. He’d given her boyfriend the typical “You, look after my
sister, or else…” lecture and all that too.
Natalie fell on
her bed, exhausted. She had left her bike in campus to walk back home with
Fumio. She wasn’t used to crossing this much distance on foot.
“My feet are
throbbing. Ugh. I truly must be obsessing over the whole thing…” she murmured
as she dozed off.
She was awoken
much later by her ringtone. She jumped up and fell off her bed, looking around
anxiously before realizing the source of the noise. “Okay, okay got it… where’s
the fire?”
It turned out
being a text from her boyfriend asking her to sleep over at his place,
promising they’d get pizza for dinner. Natalie could never resist to some good
pizza. And she hadn’t seen Kyle for the past week either.
I’ll be there around nine, she typed quickly and hit send.
She looked at
the clock on her nightstand. It was already eight thirty.
“Mom! I’m going
at Kyle’s! Don’t wait for me!” She stuffed a bag with the things she’d take
with her: toothbrush, pajamas – well, the pajamas pretty much lost their point
at Kyle’s home so she might leave them out – and the textbooks for the next
day’s classes.
Natalie walked
out in the garden, trying to step as little as possible in the muddy grass. Her
mother had covered her beloved canaries’ cages with plastic to keep the rain
from getting to them. Natalie searched for her bike in the dim light for a
while, before she realized she’d left it locked at the campus. So the bus it is… yay.
While waiting at
the bus stop, Kyle sent her a couple of texts checking where she was, and she
told him to order pizza on his own until she came. When she arrived, Kyle was
standing at the porch, waiting for her in boxers and a T-shirt.
“Hey,
beautiful,” he said, pulling her into a hug and kissing her.
She kissed him
back for a second and then pulled away. “Get in, get in! What are you doing
outside like that! You’ll catch a cold.”
“Jee, Nat, don’t
get all momsy on me. I’ve missed you,” he murmured and was all over her again.
“Kyle, give me a
second. I want to put my things down. Is the pizza here?”
Kyle crossed his
arms over his chest and looked at her in annoyance. “I am getting the feeling
that you might care about the pizza more than you care about me.”
Natalie smiled.
“Of course not silly. As soon as I’ve had my dinner I’m yours for the night.”
She dumped her bag at the hall and sat down on the couch. In the TV there was
some sports show. “I hope you’re not planning to watch that.”
Kyle joined her
on the couch and placed the pizza box on the coffee table in front of them, on
top of a few more pizza boxes. Natalie also noticed paper boxes from Chinese
and a few beer bottles scattered around the room. “We can watch whatever you
like,” he said, kissing her neck.
“Okay, good,”
said Natalie with a smile and took the controller in one hand, and a slice of
pizza in the other. “There’s a new Nikita episode tonight. This could do.”
Kyle nodded in
agreement and reached out for some pizza as well.
“Oh, you know
what? I started talking with that guy from my old class today. The Japanese one
who’s picked the same major as I at college,” Natalie explained.
“That weirdo?”
he asked between bites. “Why would you? He probably doesn’t even understand
half the things you say.”
“Why wouldn’t
he?” Natalie frowned in confusion.
“Well, don’t
these Asian people speak with ‘chin, chan, chon’ and stuff? He probably never
talked to anybody because he hasn’t learned English properly.”
Natalie poured
some of Kyle’s beer in a glass and had a sip. “That’s bull. Of course he speaks
English. He’s been here for twelve years. And he probably went well in his
exams as well since he got into a college.”
Kyle snorted.
“Yeah, right. Those immigrants just take up space and steal the locals’ college spots.”
Natalie felt
annoyed and pulled herself to the corner of the couch. “I disagree with you.
Whoever has high enough grades should get into colleges, nationality shouldn’t
be an issue.”
“And then people
wonder why we’re full of Chinks around this country,” Kyle muttered and took
some more pizza.
“Let’s just
watch the episode, shall we?” Natalie said, deciding this conversation was a
dead end.
Kyle was a nice
guy, Natalie truly felt like he was a catch most of the time; he was good
looking, fit, witty and fun to be around. He had almost dropped out of high
school himself and joined the army for his mandatory service right away. Some
disturbing ideas seemed to have entered his head since then. Natalie tried no
mind to this though.
* * * * *
“Yuck. I really would clean up some if I
had the time. He’ll get roaches for roommates if he keeps this up.”
She washed merely the pan and made
herself breakfast quickly. She had to hurry up. Still, the demon of
perfectionist came out of her when she took a look at the bedroom in broad
daylight. She did the basics: made the bed, threw away the trash Kyle had
abandoned in the nightstand and put the TV remote next to the TV.
As she cleaned
up though, an open book lying on the floor in a corner of the room caught her
eye. She picked it up, turned it over keeping a finger between the pages,
checked out the cover. She felt her face blushing when she saw a half-naked man
and a woman embracing and the cheesy title “Hidden Desires”. The author was
some random, totally unknown name.
“What’s that?
Porn?” Natalie murmured, and went back to the previous page.
She looked up at him, her eyes filled
with lust. She drew closer, all the way staring at his muscular chest. He
looked at the intricate dragon pattern on his chest. A single thought crossed
her mind. She wanted to lick his tattoo.
“Eh? Yikes!”
squealed Natalie as the book fell on the floor. Her face felt so hot she was probably
glowing in the dark by then. She felt so weird reading those stuff. It
was completely different from doing them. “What
the heck is that?!” called
Natalie to the empty room. “Dammit, I
lost the page…” She knelt down and picked up the book, closed it and placed it
– cover down – on Kyle’s nightstand.
“And for a moment I thought Kyle had decided to read a book or two. Sheesh.”
Afterwards she
left, before coming across any more… surprises. Yeah, that’s enough for a day. I’m definitely not cleaning up his
place. He should throw the red carpet for his new cockroach friends though!
She checked the
time on her cellphone, and realized she was late.
Incredibly late! Ugh! Run, Forest,
run! she thought stupidly and ran to the bus stop.
* * * * *
Fumio has started acting differently. I
think he’s slowly letting me in his routine. He waits for me at the beginning
of class and saves me a seat. He even lent his notes. Half of it is Japanese,
but he assured me I would get everything from the English part. I hope so. I
wonder what all these Japanese are for then.
He told me a bit about his family too. I
thought he might be living with his grandparents because of a bad divorce, when
I asked though, he said, “I don’t think so. They must still be together.”
I think this isn’t good about me
obsessing over Fumio though. I can’t stop talking about him. It happens all the
time. At dinner with my family, on the phone with Jasmine, and even with Kyle.
I usually stop around him, because he makes such a sour face when I mention
Fumio.
Kyle has been acting a little weird
lately too. He comes to pick me up from the bus stop, and then he’s all over
me. It would have been romantic, if it didn’t feel like I’m with a completely
different person. The Kyle I know is a laid-back person. Something about his
recent behavior made him seem almost possessive. Even
though I had decided not to clean Kyle’s house again, one morning I did. Just a
little. He had a bunch of those cheesy titled porn books around the house and I
found a brush at his bathroom. It didn’t look new, but I swear I hadn’t seen it
again. I’m not going to jump to rushed conclusions, but something is off.
“Natalie! Come in the kitchen!” her mother
called.
She’ll probably have some chore for me to
do, she thought grumpily,
but went anyway. “I’m here,” said Natalie when her mother who was turned
towards the oven didn’t pay any attention to her.
“Right, just
stand to the side for a second. I need to get this to the table,” she said as
she pulled a steaming apple pie from the oven. “After this cools down a bit,
pack it up and take it to that friend of yours. It’s been years since these
people moved here and nobody ever gave them a proper welcoming.”
“And what am I
supposed to say to Fumio? ‘Hey there, and while you’re at it, here’s this pie
because my mom didn’t give you any welcoming gifts twelve years ago?!’ That’s
weird, Mom.”
“You’re
exaggerating. Just give it to his grandma and say it’s from me.”
“Fine.” Behind the grumpy behavior
Natalie was glad for it. She wasn’t sure if Fumio and his grandparents even
liked apple pie, since Fumio always ate homemade Japanese food when they were
together, but she wanted to visit Fumio sometime anyway.
Checking if the
pie had cooled down in the stupidest way possible – touching it every few
seconds – she had almost scorched her fingers by the time she was going to go.
When she arrived to Fumio’s house, she ringed the bell and knocked on the door
a couple of times with no reply.
“Hello? Anybody
home?” she called, with no reply. “Hello?” she continued, stretching on her
toes to look over the fence in the garden. “Fumio?” Again nothing.
I probably should have called before… she thought, feeling disappointed. How stupid. How do I always jump into things
like that?
She was about to
leave when she heard voices from the back of the garden. One could have been Fumio’s. Natalie thought
for a second that it might be a bit rude to barge in like that, but she just
opened the little fence door and walked around the house to the garden anyway.
“Fumio? Is that you?”
On the other
side of the garden the most unexpected sight was waiting for her. Fumio,
laughing, while he jumped over flower pots and ran around trees chasing a
little girl. Natalie stood there watching, at a loss of words.
So I wasn’t crazy after all, she thought as she observed the little
girl. She had long, thick black hair and small, coal black eyes. She was
wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, and was thin as a stick. Fumio stood a
few meters away, watching silently.
Natalie smiled. “So
I was right,” she said calmly. “Who is she?” she asked. “Your sister?”
“I’m an only
child. She’s… a friend.”
“I’m Mariko. Nice to meet you!” said Mariko
excitedly but instead of a typical sort of greeting, she made a small bow to
Natalie. Perhaps it’s some Japanese
habit… thing, thought Natalie, amused.
“I’m Natalie,
nice to meet you too,” she said, trying to imitate Mariko’s bow. She knew she
had done something wrong when Mariko fell on the grass, laughing.
“Mariko!” called
Fumio, and then said something in Japanese, but from his look Natalie could
tell it was something along the lines of That’s
rude!
Mariko stopped
and stood up. “We’re playing hide-and-chase,” explained Mariko to Natalie. “But
Fumio is not very good at catching me.”
“Hide-and-chase?”
Natalie asked. She only knew hide-and-seek.
“You hide, and
when I find you I have to chase and catch you to win,” Fumio explained.
“But you’re
terrible at it!” called Mariko, sticking out her tongue. “You two go to hide.
I’ll count!” said she and pushed them to the opposite direction of her hiding
spot. “One, two, three…”
Fumio went to
hide behind some bushes, but Natalie followed him. “What are you doing? We
can’t both hide here. Go hide elsewhere,” whispered Fumio.
Natalie rolled
her eyes. What are we now, kids? “Hey.
I wanted to ask you… and I’ll go hide to some other spot. Who is Mariko? Some
relative’s child?”
“No. We’re not
related by blood.”
“But does she
stay with you?”
“She hangs
around here a lot. But she goes over to her parents.”
Huh? Weird. How old is she? Like six,
seven? “So she lives
nearby?”
Fumio shook his
head. “Her home isn’t near. She just keeps me company a lot.”
Nothing’s making sense! Natalie thought her head was going to
explode. Fumio’s answers told her nothing at all. Who’s this kid? Why does she follow Fumio around if they’re not related
and she doesn’t even stay nearby?
“Ninety. Ninety-one, ninety-two, ninety-”
Natalie made a
mad run for the hiding spot she’d chosen. She still had a lot of questions
though, and was dying to get them answered.
Time passed
insanely quickly. She hadn’t played children’s games for years, and somehow it
felt really refreshing. Mariko was loud, and bold, and made a ruckus about
everything, but in a good way. She asked Natalie a bunch of stuff about herself,
what were her parent’s names, if she had siblings, when was her birthday, if
she had a boyfriend. It was a head-on interrogation. Natalie had little contact
with kids in Mariko’s age, except some cousins she sometimes baby-sat. Her
mom’s pie lay forgotten on a table by the kitchen door until Fumio’s
grandparents returned from the market.
They both
greeted her with bows, similar to the way Mariko had, and his grandma invited
Natalie in for lunch. Her English wasn’t very good, but they could understand
each other fine.
Natalie was
surprised by living room. Although the external was ordinary, the internal was
as if she’d stepped into a foreign country. In the living room, there were mats
– Fumio said they were named tatami – on the floor and there were sliding
rice-paper doors separating the different rooms. The dining table was a
surprise too. It was a square low table with cushions all around it. By the
time Natalie and Fumio sat down his grandmother had already placed most dishes
at the table; the foods seemed familiar, but she hadn’t eaten before any of
them except the rice.
They all sat
down on the cushions, and Natalie followed their lead. Mariko was farther away,
jumping on the sofa, laughing all the way. Fumio’s grandparents didn’t seem the
least worried about her. Fumio must have
been a devil of a child, if they don’t mind Mariko, thought Natalie.
“What about M–”
she was about to ask, but Fumio shook his head. Natalie frowned in confusion.
“Why?”
“She’s not
hungry. Don’t you see her?” he said, although in a suspiciously low whisper, as
if he didn’t want somebody to hear.
Natalie found it
odd, but she supposed it was okay. Another surprise found her when she was
about to start eating. The only thing she had before her to eat were
chopsticks. She observed how Fumio held his, how his grandparents caught stuff
with theirs, hoping she wouldn’t make a fool of herself. She had eaten Chinese
a couple of times, but she usually picked up a little something with the
chopsticks once, just for the fun of it, and then went to get a normal fork.
It proved to be
a disaster. They kept slipping from her hand, and she could hardly pick up a
grain of rice at a time. Eventually, Fumio noticed.
“Obaa-chan… I
think Natalie needs a fork and a knife,” he told to his grandma.
“Hooku, hooku…”
murmured his grandma as she got up.
“Fork, Obaasan, it’s not hooku!” Fumio said.
“Hai, hai,” his
grandma agreed, smiling at him. “You know best. We must have some forku
somewhere…”
“Fork!” Fumio corrected again.
“It’s really no
big deal,” Natalie said, a little too late. “I don’t want to get you in all
that trouble, I can eat like that too.”
“Perhaps you’ll
have finished by nighttime you mean,” Fumio teased.
Mariko was
sitting on the floor, laughing, and Fumio’s grandfather chuckled too. “My chopstick
handling isn’t this bad…” muttered Natalie with a pout, but things went more
smoothly when she switched to fork and knife.
When they were
done Fumio, Natalie and Mariko moved to Fumio’s bedroom, while his grandparents
cleaned up the table – insisting they needed no help. Honestly they weren’t as
old as most grandparents – Natalie’s were way past eighty-five, while Fumio’s
barely looked like sixty.
As soon as
Natalie walked in Fumio’s room, she stopped, gaping at everything again. Okay, this. Has. To. Stop. She forced
herself to put it together and decided to just bombard Fumio with questions
instead of yelling questions inside her head.
“Don’t you have
a bed?” This was the most basic of
the questions she had to ask. What was the purpose of a bedroom without a bed? She could see a desk, a chair, a closet,
a low table with cushions and an incredibly high pile of various origami
covering it, but nothing one could use to sleep.
“We have
futons,” Fumio said.
Natalie looked
around again, wondering if she had somehow missed
it.
“It’s in the
closet, silly,” Mariko said, giggling. “Obaa-chan always folds it up and puts
it in there when Fumio is out. He never folds
it or anything. He’s so sloppy.”
“You talk about sloppiness? What are all
those on my table?!” Fumio asked, pointing at the origami.
Mariko smiled.
“Well, that’s different.”
“Riiiight, and how about…”
Natalie stopped
listening after a while, but she seriously enjoyed seeing those two together.
It seemed like Fumio wasn’t as lonesome as she thought. Even though it was
impressive how well he could communicate with a child as young as Mariko,
somehow it felt like these two could understand exactly was going through each
other’s minds every moment of every minute.
* * * * *
And so life goes on, wrote Natalie in her diary.
The other day, I made such a goof. When I
greeted Fumio’s grandparents I called them Mr. Ojii-chan and Mrs. Obaa-chan.
They were both looking oddly at me. Turns out those ojii-chan means grandpa and
obaa-chan means grandma. It was so embarrassing!
Little Mariko is always all over the
place. I don’t mind. I find it weird how anyone in class notices her even though
she speaks loudly sometimes. Perhaps there are special circumstances and Fumio
has permission to bring her over all the time. He never elaborates on where
Mariko is from, and what her family is like, but there are definitely issues. I
don’t know if her parents are taking a divorce, they’re mentally unstable or
something, but there’s definitely something wrong.
Mariko always looks so happy though. She
gets excited with the smallest things and loves Fumio so much. She teases him
about anything and everything, hides his stuff, pulls his hair, folds his notes
like origami and hides them in different places in his bag, but Fumio can’t get
mad at her. He shrugs off everything she does with a smile. I find it kind of
sweet.
Fumio is different too, now that I’ve met
Mariko. He seems more relaxed. I knew that there was something he was trying to
hide about his life, but I would have never imagined it was a child.
He seems at peace when she’s around, even though she’s constantly noisy and
hyperactive. I think I adore her too. I just can’t seem to be bothered, no
matter how she acts.
Today I looked for old clothes to give to
her. She always shows up wearing the same. Maybe because she stays at Fumio’s most
of the time she doesn’t take another change of clothes. I have a lot I can give
to her. And hairclips too. She always plays with my hair when I have hairclips
on it, so she must like them. I can’t wait to see her reaction when I give them
to her this afternoon.
Kyle is still acting weird. One moment he
acts like crazy for me to sleep over at his place. If I say I can’t, or that
I’ll come a little later than usual, he’s suddenly hysteric. Then he cancels on
me saying something came up. I don’t understand what could possibly come up. They
don’t call from work at night, and there can’t be so many special occasions in
so little time. I just don’t understand what’s going through his mind. I’m so
confused.
* * * * *
I gave Mariko the clothes. She almost
drowned me with kisses. You’d think she hadn’t changed clothes in ages. I don’t
want to think what is happening in Fumio’s room right now. When I was there she
changed into every outfit, and by the time she was done the room looked like a
war zone. I offered to help Fumio, but he said it’s okay. It looked like Mariko
was planning to take out the clothes again as soon as we put them in the bag
anyway.
Kyle called me out of the blue. AT 3AM!
Luckily I was awake. He sounded weird again. I think it was excitement, but he
said ‘he had to talk to me’ and that there was something ‘incredibly
interesting that I absolutely had to hear’ and asked me to go over his house as
soon as I can tomorrow. I might leave Fumio and Mariko early tomorrow after
class and go straight to Kyle’s. It sounded important.
* * * * *
She turned around the corner on Kyle’s
street. She was trying not to go crazy over it, but it felt as if that bike
just wouldn’t move fast enough. She
just couldn’t imagine what was possibly this important.
Kyle was standing at the porch, waiting
for her.
Okay,
that really looks important then, mused Natalie.
She got off her
bike and Kyle greeted her at the door with a kiss. “I ordered us some Chinese,
to match the mood,” he announced, leading her inside with his arm wrapped
around her waist.
“What mood? Do
we have something special today? I mean it’s not some sort of anniversary I’ve
forgotten or someth–”
“No, babe, it’s
nothing like that. I just have some news, and I think you should really hear me
out.”
“Okay, sure,”
she said, trying to hide her impatience from her tone. “That’s why I came here
right after classes for after all. I left in such a hurry that I barely had the
time to say Fumio goodbye.”
“Fumio.” He made
a face as he said the name. He always did. “Oh, the Nip, right.”
“Don’t call him
Nip. It’s not nice.”
“Well, he is
from Japan, isn’t he? I don’t get why you get so offended,” he defended.
“It’s the way you say it that bothers me.”
“Fine, fine.
I’ll be nice. Sit down,” he said, leading her to the sofa. “Get some noodles.
They seem tasty.”
Natalie filled a
plate with noodles and setsuan pork, spring rolls and a couple of other things
Kyle had gotten and made herself comfortable on the couch. “Aren’t you going to
eat?”
“I will. I just
have some talking to do first.”
Natalie
shrugged. “Okay. I’m listening.”
Kyle smiled.
There was something Natalie didn’t like about his smile. He was making a weird
face. “So, I was passing by our friend, Fumio’s
neighborhood yesterday, and decided to stop by and say hi.”
“But Fumio is
not your fr–”
“Let me finish.
You can say anything you like afterwards. So, it turns out you were out with him so he wasn’t home. His grandmother told me.
She’s a chatty woman, this one. Although her English is quite insufferable.”
“Kyle, what did
you–”
He shook his
finger. “I already told you to let me say the whole thing first.”
This is bad. What the hell did he go and
do? She was starting to
get angry. Her heart was beating like crazy. She wouldn’t find out if he didn’t finish
his story though, so she tried to keep quiet. She couldn’t bring a bite to her
mouth though and the plate ended up sitting on her laps, and the food started
getting cold, forgotten as it was.
“I said I was
Fumio’s friend and was looking for him. She served me tea and I found out some
quite interesting things. He is really messed up, you know?”
Natalie felt her
hands clutching into fists. How is he
saying something like that? He doesn’t know the first thing about Fumio!
“Poor orphan Fumio.” Kyle’s smile was starting to
turn into something very ugly, twisted.
“What are you
talking about?” Natalie felt heavy. Fumio wasn’t an orphan! Sure he lived with
his grandparents but he had said– “I
don’t think so. They must still be together.” Did he mean– Natalie’s eyes
widened in shock.
“They must have
been incredibly stupid to have managed to get themselves killed in their own
house. Maybe the old hag meant they committed suicide, who could tell with the
way she could speak? They even took his girlfriend to the grave with them.
Crazy Nip people. He’s still not over her, that’s why he’s been a nutcase ever
since he came here.”
His… girlfriend? Fumio was just a kid
when he moved out of Japan. What was this nonsense? “You’re… you’re lying! What you’re saying
is bull–” She put her untouched dish on the table and stood up, all so fast she
barely understood how they happened. “Why
would you say such horrible things?! Why are you making such a story up?!”
yelled Natalie, feeling her whole body shaking.
Kyle stood up,
and for the first time Natalie felt him towering over her. He spoke calmly
though. “I’m not lying. Go ask that Nip, he’ll tell you all about it! His
chatty grandmother told me after all! I just thought you should know what he’s
hidden from you, because he’s a messed-up, big
liar! I wonder if there’s any hint of truth in what he’s told you.
“You are charmed
by his orient habits, and his bed-less bedroom, and all the things he does
differently, but have you ever considered it might all be an act? He’s fooling
you! You’re my girl and I wanted to knock some sense into you before it’s too
late! Don’t trust him!”
At that moment
Natalie lost it. She didn’t know what demon got into her, she had never once
been so violent in her life. She shoved Kyle with all her strength. It merely
caused him to stumble, but the look on his face said he hadn’t seen it coming.
“And why did you
go digging up other people’s business?! Did you think I’d be interested? Was
that the stupid mood that Chinese
food would match with? You made such a fuss to tell me how terrible my choice
of friends has been?!
“I know… maybe I
am indeed choosing all the wrong people. Maybe the one I shouldn’t trust is you! Are you supposed to care about me, when
hurt me like that?!”
That horrible
smile had finally been whipped off his face. Natalie felt fat teardrops falling
and staining her shirt, and she had been balling her hands into fists so hard
her nails were biting into her skin. She couldn’t stand there another second.
She stormed out of the house, grabbing her bag, but having no patience to
bother with her bike. She was trembling so hard she couldn’t drive it anyway.
He could have him for all she cared!
Natalie got home
in the black of the night, having walked all the way. She felt terrible. She
dropped her bag in the hall and ran into her room without speaking to anyone.
Her knees gave out in front of the bed, and she curled under the covers in her
clothes. She heard her mother coming in a few times, speaking to her, but she
didn’t reply. She ignored her brother and father too when they tried.
All she could
think about was Fumio.
Was this why you were so sad back then?
Was this why you never tried talking with anyone? Was this why you said I was a
drama queen?
She couldn’t believe what Kyle had said
about a girlfriend though. That was
made up. Why would he say that? Was Kyle this jealous of Fumio? Did he think
she was falling for him and wanted to keep her from getting more involved? Why
was Kyle so mean? He made such an atmosphere to just fill her up with bitter
words?
Eventually the
world seemed to stop. Her mind turned blank. Her sight turned blank. She fell
asleep.
* * * * *
Sunlight?
What time is it?
She jumped out of bed. Her alarm clock
read 12:31.
“Oh, Nat, you’re up,” said Mrs. Tilia
from the door.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Natalie was
surprised at the sound of her voice. It was hoarse, and her throat felt sore, as
if she’d sat in the pouring rain for hours and had caught the worst of colds.
“You didn’t look well. I thought you
could use a day off. Come to the kitchen. I’ve made you something to eat.”
Natalie got off the bed and slowly
reached the kitchen. She felt as if she’d gained a hundred pounds overnight.
All she could think was: What am I going
to tell Fumio when I see him?
She forced a couple of bites down, but it
proved impossible to eat. She wasn’t hungry. She found her bag at the hall,
picked it back and went back to her room. She
found her cell phone full of calls. There were 27 unanswered calls from Kyle.
“Screw you,”
muttered Natalie in that hoarse stranger’s voice, and clicked the back button.
She had a few texts as well. She didn’t bother opening those from Kyle and
moved on to Fumio’s.
Sent at 8:37: You’re late again :P I’m
sitting at the back of the auditorium, you’ll notice us. Mariko is wearing that
fluffy dress you brought her.
Sent at 9:03: Well done, you missed first
period. Don’t try coming in late, wait outside, the professor is in a bad mood.
He almost sent his chair flying to the previous student who tried.
Natalie half
smiled.
Sent at 10:24: Are you alive over there?
Mariko is putting those blasted hairclips all over my hair. HELP!
Sent at 10:30: Yeah, I need help! I can’t
put that big hairclip with the bees on Fumio’s head, he keeps taking it off! :D
:P :3 :)
Natalie could
tell the last message was from Mariko. There must have been a fight for her to
get Fumio’s cellphone and type a whole message. She found herself grinning at
the last message. Mariko was going crazy over her hairclips and kept putting a
bunch on Fumio’s head while he was asleep. It drove him mad.
Fumio is my fiend. I should just talk to
him. I can’t base on that bogus Kyle said yesterday. They all sounded like such
lies.
She started
writing a reply. Sorry, I wasn’t feeling
well. Come by my house later? I’d like to ask you something.
The reply came
to her almost right away. OK see you
there. Feel better soon.
Natalie spent the
rest of her morning trying to figure out how she would ask Fumio all the things
she wanted. She had no clue how to even start the conversation though.
Absolutely none at all.
“Sneak
attack!!!!!!!!” Before she could react, she was squished against her mattress
and her brother was on top of her.
“Mike! Can’t…
breathe… dying… get… off!”
Laughing, Mike
rolled over. “Are you feeling any better?” he asked, ruffling her hair.
“I think I did.
Until you tried to make a human splash out me.”
“Well, it was a sneak attack.”
“Sneak attacks
require sneaking.”
“Details!
Details! You always stick to the little details!” He laughed again. “So tell
your big bro what’s up. I thought you fell into a comma or something yesterday.
What got into you?”
“I had a fight
with Kyle.”
“Like a stupid
fight of the sort, ‘You always pick what
movies we get to watch together!’” he asked in a girly tone.
“Not even
close!” exclaimed Natalie, slamming her pillow on Mike’s head. “Do people even
fight over these things? No. It was pretty serious. I think we broke up.”
“Does he know?”
Natalie
shrugged. “I hope he got the message. I’ll spell it out for him later if he
likes. I think I should go get my bike from his place too. I left it there last
night.”
“Want me to do
it? I can tell him a thing or two about treating a lady properly.” Mike grinned
and showed his fist.
“Stupid!” she
called and hit him again with the pillow. “Thanks, but no. I’ll handle it
later.”
“But if you need
anything you should tell me. I haven’t had a good fight in a long time.” All
those manly hormones are asking to be released you know?” said Mike playfully
and punched his left fist to his right palm.
“Yeah, right,
manly man, I got it. Now you and your testosterone should get out of my room,
Fumio is coming over and I should change. Out, out, out!” said Natalie, pushing
her brother all the way to the door.
* * * * *
“I hope Natarie
is feeling well now,” Mariko said, as they got off the bus. “She never misses a
single day.”
“Yeah, that’s
true. I hope everything’s alright,” agreed Fumio.
He climbed up
the steps to the front door and rang the bell. Quickly the door opened, and a
guy twice as tall as him stood on the other side.
“Um… hi. I am–”
he started hesitantly.
“Fumio, right?
Man, I was wondering what you’d be like! Natalie never shuts up about you. Come
on in, I’m Mike, Natalie’s sister.”
“Nice to meet
you,” Fumio said politely.
“Let’s drop the
formalities and get to the chase. I know you and Natalie are really close, so I
should warn you, you hurt my little sister and I–”
“Mike, leave him
alone!” Natalie called from down the hall. “Jeez, you’re a public hazard.” She
hurried to grab Fumio’s hand and take him away from her brother. “I hope he
didn’t say anything weird.”
“What weird? I
was just about to give your new boyfriend a little warning!” said Mike with a grin.
“He’s not my
boyfriend!” Natalie called as she led Fumio through a kitchen and out into the
garden.
Mariko was
already standing in front of the back door with a pout on her face. “Your
brother shut the door in my face!” she complained. “He didn’t even notice me!”
“No way! I’m so
sorry, Mariko, give me a second, I–”
Fumio held her
back. “No, just let it be. It’s okay. She… she was standing on the side, so
it’s only natural he didn’t notice her. How are you feeling?”
Natalie frowned.
She looked dreadful, although Fumio wouldn’t say that to her face. Her eyes
were puffed and red, and her voice was worse than a truck driver’s. “I’m good.
I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed I suppose. She led them to a bench
at the back of the garden.
“Whoa! Pretty!”
Mariko said, fascinated with the millions of canaries at the cages above them.
They were all chipping loudly, and Mariko was jumping in the air trying to
reach them, her mouth gaping open.
“Do you like
them? My mom raises them,” Natalie explained.
“They’re
amazing!” Mariko started talking to them and giggled, playing around on her
own.
“I don’t understand.” What things? What was she trying to say.
“There is somebody close to me, who went
and dug out some things about your past. But I’m not sure what I should
believe. I swear, I didn’t ask them to look for those, and I had no intention
of learning anything about you that way.”
“Um… they told me about your parents.”
Could
it have been that guy Obaa-chan was talking about? “I
see… Obaa-chan is so naïve. She told me she spoke to some ‘friend of mine’ but
I thought she’d just had a funny dream or something. I don’t know what you
learned exactly… but do you want to hear the whole story?”
Natalie nodded right away. “I don’t
believe things are the way I was told. Some things… some things didn’t make any
sense.”
Fumio nodded. “Even if Obaa-chan spoke, I
don’t know what she could have explained properly in English. Very well. If you
want I’ll tell you.”
Natalie nodded.
“Wait a sec. Where did Mariko go?”
Fumio glanced
over his shoulder. Mariko was nowhere to be seen. “She must have gone… home.”
“Home?” Natalie
asked, sounding perplexed.
Fumio sighed.
“It will probably make more sense when I’m done telling you.”
“Alright.”
Fumio took in a
deep breath and started. “It happened about twelve years ago, back when I was
still in Japan. It was a weekend and I had gone out into the neighborhood,
looking for something to buy for my best friend. We were going to go to the
Tanabata, the star festival, and I wanted to find her a hairclip to give it to
her as a gift.
“We lived in a
flat, and on the floor below lived my grandparents. My parents had ordered a
new stove running on gas and there was a technician at home installing it, so I
had gone to the market on my own.”
Fumio remembered
it clearly. He had been so excited about the Tanabata. He had gone into every
shop looking for the perfect gift. He had even tried some girly hairclips on his hair, trying to imagine what they’d
look like on her. After careful consideration he had his favorite wrapped up and
headed straight home.
“I was so
impatient about giving the hairclip to my friend that I had first tried going
to her house. Her parents told me though that she was waiting for me at my
house. So I ran there next. I was so excited.”
He had been
calling his friend’s name while knocking on the door. Nobody hadn’t answered
though, no matter how hard he had knocked. Eventually he had taken the spare
key from a pot next to the door and had opened himself.
“Hey, guess what, guess what!” Fumio
remembered himself saying while dumping the key on the kitchen counter.
The lights had been on, but the house was
dead quiet.
“Mom? Dad? Hello?”
He had walked towards the kitchen and
that was when he had noticed something was wrong. He had first seen his mom.
She had been on the floor, lying on the kitchen tiles, as if sleeping.
“Mom? Mom!” he had kept on calling. He
had tried everything. He shook her, he yelled at her, he shook her some more.
“Dad! Dad, something’s wrong with Mom!”
His dad had never replied either. He
found him fallen from his chair with the newspaper still in his hand.
“I couldn’t wake
him up either,” continued Fumio. He had been staring at his hands all the time.
“At last, I stood up, wanting to call for help and I saw my friend. She was
still sitting in her chair, her arms curled on the table and her head on top of
them. She really looked peaceful. I was sure she was joking. She looked as if
she had fallen asleep.”
“Wake up! It’s not funny anymore! You can
drop the act now. Come on! I got you something! Open your eyes! I know you want
to see what it is!” He had continued talking like this for at least two
minutes. He remembered the monologue clearly. He had jingled the little gift in
front of his friend, hoping to lure her out of her sleep. He couldn’t
understand. “Fine, if you’re like that…” he had finally said and stormed out of
the room.
“I knocked on my
grandparents’ door. I told them something was wrong upstairs and nobody was
waking up. Ojii-chan and I went up and Obaa-chan called the hospital.”
He stopped for a
second and glanced at Natalie. He couldn’t tell for sure since her eyes were
already red from before, but she looked as if she were trying not to cry.
“Natarie? Are
you okay? Do you want me to continue?”
Natalie only
nodded.
“Ojisan! They’re not waking up! Why isn’t
anyone waking up? They’re joking right?” Fumio had kept on calling, pulling at
his grandfather’s sleeve.
“Fumio, quick, open the windows! The
windows!”
“He realized
what had happened much sooner than I did. But it was already too late.”
“Oh, no…” was
all Natalie could say. “Why? Why did it all happen?”
Fumio tried to
remember. The rest had been a blur. The ambulance, the noise, the police. He
had ran to his friend, shaking her, begging her to wake up. “You have to wake up! You have to see your
gift! Come on, I know you’re joking!” he had said over and over again. But
there were some details.
“It was the
technician. When he installed the gas to the stove, he didn’t close the valve
right. There was gas leaking in the room. Obaa-chan sad there was also a bad
smell coming from the street around that time. So my parents had probably
closed the windows to keep it out. But it also kept the gas in.”
“And why did you
move out?” Natalie asked quietly. “Was it to forget?”
Fumio shook his
head. “It was mostly so that the neighbors would forget. My parents were
considered responsible for my friend’s death. Everyone pointed the finger at
them, even though they had died too. My grandparents felt ashamed. They
couldn’t stay there any longer, and neither could they face my friend’s
parents. A good opportunity abroad appeared on Ojii-chan so we moved away.”
“That friend of
yours… were you close?”
“We grew up
together. We were always joined to the hip. We did everything together. She was
loud and she was an incurable prankster. She was so noisy she woke up all the
neighbors every morning. She was impossible, and she was my favorite person in
the world. Her name was Mariko.”
Natalie just
stared, in shock.
“She had a dog.
They had bought it as a puppy when she was born, and they grew up together. It
always knew when Mariko was approaching, it could tell when she was happy, when
she was sad, when she was about to pull a prank. But it couldn’t understand it
when she died. Her dog kept on crying, continuously, tirelessly, all day and
all night, waiting for Mariko to return. That crying haunted me even more than
the sight of Mariko sleeping on our kitchen table. I’ve hated dogs since. Hairclips
too. If I hadn’t gone to buy that stupid hairclip that day, Mariko wouldn’t
have…”
He felt
Natalie’s hand on his. “It wasn’t your fault. You were just a child.”
“I suppose it
doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”
Natalie nodded.
“Can I ask one last thing?”
“About Mariko?”
She nodded
again.
“She’s the same
Mariko that died twelve years ago. A few weeks after I moved here, I started
seeing her. She seemed to know what had happened before the Tanabata festival,
but she didn’t talk about it. She was her usual loud self. But nobody else
could see her. She was there only for me.”
“Does that
mean…”
“If she’s a
ghost? I suppose you could call it that. I thought she could have merely been a
creation of my own grieving mind. Until you
saw her. Why can you see her too, Natarie? I don’t get it.”
“I… I don’t
know. I mean… um… thank you. Really thank you for telling me the true story. I
need some time to think though.”
* * * * *
I got sick the day I came back from
Kyle’s on foot. The day after Fumio told me the truth, I raised a fever. I
haven’t seen him since then, although I’ve seen Mariko standing out the window
a few times, waving happily. It’s impossible to think she’s dead. Probably my
assumption of going crazy was correct after all.
I don’t really care. Even if she’s just a
friction of Fumio’s imagination, which somehow ended up being a friction of my
own imagination as well, I like Mariko. I like hers and Fumio’s company, and
I’m glad to have met them. I don’t mind whatever she might be!
I should probably tell that Fumio. The
fever let me get up only today, so for the past four days I haven’t talked to
him at all. I should go get my bicycle from Kyle’s too. He has filled my call
history and my textbox. I’ve read a couple of messages. Stupid warnings about
Fumio, half-apologies and requests of going over, reminders that my bike is
still there. I hope he doesn’t expect any joyous reunion when I get there. Is
he completely delusional?
The next day
Natalie went to Kyle’s home. The curtains were closed and it looked like no one
was home.
Maybe that’s better. I’ll just take the
bike and be on my way.
“Hey, Natarie,”
said a voice that made Natalie turn around. Little Mariko was standing on the
side of the street, wearing an old skirt and shirt of Natalie’s and a bunch of
colorful hairclips on her hair.
“Mariko… hi.” Ugh, that sounded totally cold. Fix it, fix
it! “What are you doing here? If Fumio around?”
Mariko shook her
head. “He’s at home, he’s helping Obaa-chan with something. Where are you
going?”
“Um… at my
ex-boyfriend’s home. I have to take back something.”
“Can I come
with? I’ll be real quiet, I promise. He won’t even notice me being there!” They
exchanged a smile, both knowing how Mariko really meant it.
Quickly Natalie
went in the garden and spotted her bike on the grass right below the window.
She scribbled out a note saying she came over and took it and slid it under the
door. Before she managed to go down the stairs though, the door opened, and
Kyle stood there. His hair was messed up, even though it was the middle of the
day, and he was only in his boxers.
“Natalie? You
hadn’t told me you were coming over.”
“I’m not
staying. I just came for my bike,” said Natalie coldly and continued going down
the stairs.
“What? Come on,
babe! I had asked you to come so we could talk. Didn’t you get my–”
“I got all your
texts,” she said curtly. I just don’t think there’s something to say. We’ve
broken up, in case you didn’t realize the last time I was here.”
Kyle looked
genuinely surprised. “We what? What
are you talking about? That was just a little fight! Oh, I get it! You’re
breaking up with me to be with this Nip
scum! That’s how it is?”
Natalie wouldn’t
let him get to her this time. “You don’t understand at all. I don’t like him
this way, if it makes you feel better. The thing that broke us up was you and your stupid little ego, not
Fumio! And if you’re expecting a reunion, you’d better tell your other girlfriend that her staring through
the window only in her bra isn’t convincing either,” she finished and pointed
at the window. She didn’t even bother with that. Of course there was another girl. That’s why he kept on making last
minute changes. As if it matters now.
“What are you doing? If you walk away now–”
“I’m walking very away and I’m doing it right now!” she called back, going out
the door with her bike in her hands. Mariko was waiting for her at the other
side of the fence, sticking her tongue out to Kyle and calling him names that
Natalie found very amusing. He continued ranting as she went down the street,
but she paid them no mind. Mariko caught her hand and held it tightly.
“Are you okay,
Natarie?”
Natalie let go
of Mariko to wipe a small tear slipping down her cheek and nodded. “Yeah. I’m
alright now. Everything’s alright.”
* * * * *
I don’t remember being contacted by Kyle
since then. I like to think he had the decency to never even try again in his
whole stupid life. I talked to Fumio too. Everything’s okay between us. Mariko
is as happy as can be too. We meet up at college, we go out afterwards, they
come over at my house or I go to theirs a lot too. Mariko’s hairclip attacks
continue and I’m sure Fumio is cursing me inside his head for giving all those
to Mariko.
Mariko and I planned a surprise birthday
party for him. From what Mariko says, Fumio hadn’t had a proper birthday party
since before they left Japan. We set everything up at my house, bought a cake,
decorated the whole place, I sent everyone out of the house and we lured Fumio
in. When he saw what he’d done he was at a loss of words. It was a small party,
being just the three of us, but it was fun. We had to put two chairs one on top
of the other for Mariko to reach the table when we sat down to eat some birthday
came. The little monster in the end had eaten more than Fumio and I combined!
We’re probably going to go to an
amusement park the next week. I wonder if these two have ever been in one in
their lives. I’m sure they’ll love it.
Natalie stopped
writing and got up. She was meeting up with Fumio at the bridge and they were
going to go for a walk in the park afterwards. Mariko was already out of her
window and was making a ruckus for her to come out.
* * * * *
Fumio had made
an early start to make sure he’d be at the bridge in time. He leaned against
the railing, looking down at the stream. It was getting wider and muddier
around that time of the year. It was absolutely different from the ones back at
home.
“So there you
are,” a voice said.
He turned
around, thinking it was Natalie but just before he saw who called, he realized
this wasn’t a girl’s voice. There was a tall muscular guy standing at the side
of the bridge. Fumio squinted his eyes, trying to take a better look, but
having the sun behind him, the guy looked just like a shady figure with
indistinguishable characteristics.
“Who are you?”
Fumio called, not moving from his spot.
The shady
character came closer though. “Your worst nightmare, you stupid Nip.”
* * * * *
When Natalie and
Mariko got to the bridge, there was nobody there. “Hmm, it looks like Fumio is
late,” said Natalie.
“But he started
around the time I came to your house,” complained Mariko. “Maybe he walked
ahead of us and is waiting at the park.”
Natalie
shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to take a look.”
Their walking
sped up by the second. Something felt wrong to Natalie. She had a bad feeling
about all this. How could punctual Fumio not be there? He wasn’t picking up his
cell phone either.
“There’s the
park!” Mariko called as she saw the entrance. She started running.
“Wait up,
Mariko! You’re gonna trip the way you’re running!”
“No, I’m–” her
sentence was cut short and exchanged with a loud shriek. “Natalie! Natalie!”
she kept calling until Natalie reached her. That was when Natalie saw it too.
There was someone standing over Fumio – Fumio who was on the ground,
bloodstained and unconscious – swearing and punching him with all his strength.
“Stop!” Natalie
called. “Let him go!” On an impulse, she went closer.
Kyle looked up
at her, smiling horribly. “That’s the Nip you like, Nat. Here, enjoy him. You
can be his girlfriend all you like now! Stupid sucker; he’s Asian yet he can’t
even defend himself. Look at him. Look at what you’re choosing over me!”
Natalie slapped
him. She pushed him away from Fumio and kept punching him in the chest over and
over again. “Get away, you idiot!
Leave. Him. Alone!” Kyle barely moved from her blows. She felt so powerless.
How hadn’t she thought this might happen? It was all her fault. All of it was
her fault…
What happened
next was a blur in her mind. She couldn’t remember how Kyle had left, and if
she’d called the hospital, but soon enough the characteristic siren was heard
and the ambulance had followed. She could remember sitting at the waiting room,
crying, apologizing to his grandparents, nobody understanding what she was
saying. Mariko was keeping her face glued to Fumio’s room, staring and staring
some more, never paying attention to anything else.
What did they say about Fumio? Five
broken ribs, a punctured lung, something broken in his left hand, something
more about his nose…. I just can’t keep it all in my mind. I want it all to go
away! screamed Natalie
inside her head.
Eventually at
night, when the doctors took Fumio for a surgery, Mariko came to sit next to
her. For the first time, Natalie saw her face stained with tears.
“I heard them
say Fumio is not going to make it.”
Natalie pulled
her close to her. “Don’t listen. Things are going to be fine. They’re going to
be alright.” She wasn’t sure if she believed it herself though.
“I feel it too.
He’s barely holding up. That way…”
“He’s going to
be okay,” Natalie insisted.
“I know he
will,” Mariko said suddenly. “Because I’m going to help him.”
Natalie didn’t
understand. She observed Mariko carefully. She was looking straight ahead, at a
white wall. She was smiling peacefully and had such a calm look on her face. It
was different from her grinning with a lollipop still in her mouth, and her
loud giggles as she dragged Fumio around.
“What are you
saying? You–” You what? Do you even know what you want to say? Natalie
thought. She couldn’t tell what was going through Mariko’s mind.
“I will do what
I have to do. Fumio is my best friend. My favorite person in the whole world.
When we were little, they said we could have been two sides of the same person.
We were closer together than any twins, and we weren’t even related. I always
did things that should annoy him, but he never complained. In the summer I’d
wear one of my slippers and one of his, forcing him to wear one of mine too. In
the end he got so used to it that he did it on his own.”
“I would have
liked to see that,” Natalie said, smiling. “But still, Mariko…”
“There’s no need
to worry about me. I’ve already died anyway. I’m staying back to make Fumio
happy. If I can do something to save him, I will. He would have given his life
to get be back that day. I want to be able to do the same for him.”
“But doesn’t
that mean you’re going to… will you still be here after that?”
Mariko shrugged.
“Nobody ever explained me any of all this. I just figured out how to do a few
things on my own. I don’t know what will happen afterwards, where I’ll be. But
what’s the point in staying here anyway, if Fumio goes away?”
Natalie couldn’t
say anything. Unlike the unreasonable, childish arguments Mariko usually made
this was a grown up’s logic, a reasonable thing to say. Still, Natalie couldn’t
choose. Both Fumio and Mariko were alive to her. Even if Mariko was visible
just to the two of them, she was just as real as any other person.
Natalie felt her
eyes filling with tears. She didn’t want to let Mariko see her cry again
though. She was probably feeling badly enough without that.
“D– Does it have
to be now? Are you going to…” Natalie started asking.
She shook her
head. “Not yet. I’ll wait until they bring him back from surgery. There’s
something I want to do.”
“Okay, good.
Then… can I ask you something? Fumio asked me that, but I couldn’t answer.
Maybe you can.”
“Sure. Tell me.”
“Why me? Why of
all people, it is me who can see you? I never knew you. Don’t you choose who
sees you and who doesn’t?”
Mariko laughed.
“I wonder if I do! At first, I was still here, looking at everyone, but nobody
could see me. I tried so hard to talk to people I knew, my parents, Fumio, our
other classmates, but it was all in vain. Then, when Fumio moved here, suddenly
he could see me. I thought I’d done some sort of magic, and I tried making
others pay attention to me again.
“Six years ago,
my dog saw me once. She was an old lady by then, but she recognized me. I suppose
I’m still the same after all.
“Nobody else
could see me though, even years later. And then one afternoon. You saw me. I
was walking with Fumio, and when I turned around, you were starting right at me. I knew you could see me then.”
“So it was an
accident?”
“More or less.”
She grinned. “But I could have made myself invisible to you again. It just
couldn’t work the other way around. Don’t tell that to Fumio though. He would kill me if he knew!” She chuckled.
“But then why
did you let me?”
“Fumio would
need a friend sooner or later. Staying with him was getting harder by the
years. I wasn’t getting bored, but it was as if it was harder to stay visible
to him. I haven’t seen any other ghosts to ask, but it must be that my soul is
trying to move on or something along those lines.
“I couldn’t
imagine leaving Fumio all alone when I couldn’t stay back anymore. You were
always watching him, following him around. You were a good choice.”
Natalie hid her
face in her palms. “What good choice? It was Kyle who got him in the hospital.
If I hadn’t seen you, if I hadn’t gotten involved…”
“You’re just
like Fumio. Incurably stuuuupid,”
Mariko sing-sang. “Will you stop blaming yourselves and realize that things
just happen?”
“But–”
Mariko closed
her ears with her fingers. “I don’t want to hear it. Na, na, na, na, nana! I
can’t hear you! Na, na, na, na!” She kept calling until Natalie gave up. “It’s
almost time,” she said. “They’re bringing him back.”
“Stay a little
longer.” Natalie took her hand, hoping to keep her from running off.
“I’ve stayed
here eleven years longer. Don’t you think that’s long enough?” Somehow,
Mariko’s hand slipped right through her grip. “Hey, I need a last favor.”
Natalie nodded. “I’m going to leave something back for Fumio. But he’ll have to
see it for himself when he wakes up. Will you make sure no one changes it until
he’s opened his eyes?”
“What kind of
question is that? Of course I will.”
Mariko grinned.
Suddenly she ran forward and hugged Natalie tightly. “Goodbye then. It was so
fun meeting you. Take good care of Fumio for me.”
“I will,” she
said. She couldn’t hold back the tears that run down her eyes anymore.
“And stop your
crying! You’re getting my hair wet!” commanded Mariko in a bossy voice.
Natalie
half-smiled. “I’m sorry.”
Mariko let go.
Two nurses and a doctor in scrubs turned around the corner, pushing a hospital
bed with a boy in it. Natalie saw Fumio’s face as they opened the room’s door
and took him in.
“Goodbye,
Natarie!” Mariko said, with her simple grin, waving her hand happily as she
slipped through the door with them.
* * * * *
Once the
hospital staff left the room, Natalie had gone to the room’s window, watching
Fumio. She could make out Natalie’s small frame moving in the darkness, but she
couldn’t tell what she was going. She observed her going around the bed, then
running back to the other side, then running around again. She didn’t find out
until it was morning.
A nurse had told
her to go in, since she wouldn’t leave the hospital anyway, and she took a seat
at the armchair across Fumio’s bed. His nose was horribly bruised, and his
cheeks her red and swollen. There were a few cuts, but they had been cleaned
and stitched by the doctors. Natalie kept staring at his hair, unable to share
Mariko’s joke at the moment. Mariko… she walked in and didn’t come out. Did she
really do it?
“N-Natarie?”
Natalie jumped up at the sound of Fumio’s voice. “Hey, what’s all this fuss
about?”
Natalie’s eyes
were watery again. “You’re awake.”
Fumio tried to
smile. It looked terrible, but it felt so relieving to see him okay. “Why are
like that. God, my head feels as if it’s about to burst. I had such a crazy
dream. I saw that we were meeting up, but your crazy ex attacked me.”
“I’m so sorry,
Fumio, I’m sorry it’s all my fault. It wasn’t a crazy dream. It really
happened.”
“Hm? It did?
Wait, where are we?”
“The hospital.
You were admitted yesterday.”
“Aaah, then that
explains why my head feels like it’s going to burst.” He pulled off the overs
with his good hand and tried to get up.”
“D-Don’t move
just yet. I don’t think you should–”
“Ouch!” He
flinched and fell back. “Enough said, I get it. I’m staying down.” He smiled
again. “When did you last sleep? You look terrible.”
“Oh, look who’s
talking! You should look at your
face,” Natalie shot back, half-joking.
“Haha, I suppose
I really should. Oh, hey, there’s something I wanted to tell you.”
“What?”
“Your boyfriend
was cuckoo. Next time I think Mike and I are going to pick the boyfriend.
They’re going to get us all killed!” It was obvious Fumio was trying to get
this all to sound funny, but Natalie was overcome with guilt again. “Oh?
Where’s Mariko?”
“She… well, I
don’t know how to say this…”
“Wow, my head’s
all itchy. As if someone has filled my head with–” he paused as his hand
touched the first hairclip. “What does this mean? Where is she? What… no…” He
kept on moving his hand across his head, looking for more hairclips. “How many
are there?”
Natalie quietly
counted them. “Twelve.”
For the first
time, Natalie saw a tear rolling down Fumio’s cheek. “Twelve… twelve years.” He
sounded calm. “Why now?”
“I think it was
to save you. She said you were going to die. I don’t quite understand it
either. But she left these back for you,” Natalie explained as she pointed at
his head.
“These. Right.
Did she put the big one with the bee as well?”
She nodded.
“That’s the one right in the middle. She made sure it stands out.”
He was thinking.
Eventually he said, “She could have waited for me to wake up. To say goodbye. I
couldn’t have been so bad. I feel fine.”
“I think the morphine
is what makes you feel fine,” Natalie admitted. “She said goodbye though. Even
if you couldn’t hear it at that time.”
A few more tears
ran down his face. “Stupid Mariko. I’ll miss her.”
* * * * *
Recovery for Fumio took two months. All
those breaks needed a lot of time to heal. He was sad for Mariko too. He didn’t
cry again though after the day he woke up. I went to visit him every day, and
he seemed to be a little better when he talked to someone. Things were probably
going the way Mariko would have wanted them to.
I later talked to my brother and he told
me he was the one who had stopped Kyle. He gave him a good beating and the
called the police. If I’m lucky, I’ll never have to see this bastard’s face
again in my life.
Fumio never blamed me for the beating,
although it was clearly my fault. He is such a good person. I don’t get how
he’s not angry at me. Maybe it doesn’t matter though.
I’m going over the hospital today again.
Fumio is getting released. Mike will drive me there. He seems to like Fumio a
lot. How he’d wish he was my boyfriend. I am starting to think he’s trying to
brainwash me into going out with him. Not happening though. Fumio is one of my
dearest friends, but I could never see him this way. He seems to agree too.
While in the hospital he once told me, ‘I’d actually be offended if you asked
me out on a date. Judging from the loonies you choose for boyfriends, I don’t
know what such a proposal would say about my mental state.’
Of course, Fumio was a little crazy too.
He was living with the ghost of his best friend for his past 12 years. But
that’s a special kind of crazy. The good kind. That’s what I like to think at
least.
* * * * *
“Come on you
slowpoke,” called Natalie back at Fumio. “I’m carrying all the bags but you’re
still falling behind.”
“Well, you
always told me to sit down and rest ever since I got in here! It’s a miracle I
still know how to walk!” he exclaimed.
He quickly
signed some final papers at the receptions, and they were finally out.
“Sun! God, I
seriously was starting to forget what things looked like outside a hospital.
But it’s going to be different without Mariko around, huh?”
“Yeah,
probably.”
“I miss her,”
Fumio said. Somehow, even though he knew she
had moved on, he was still hoping that he’d see her somewhere; that somehow she
would be waiting for him outside the hospital, a lollipop in hand and a loud
scold ready to come out of her mouth.
Natalie pulled
at his sleeve. “Hey, am I the only one who sees that?”
No. The words never left Fumio’s lips though. The shock was too
much. Right across the street, by the traffic light stood a little girl with
long, black hair and small eyes. She was grinning and was waving two hands in
the air, one holding a big lollipop.
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