Chapter 8: Putting An Order To This
Mess
Mess
Author's Note: So... here is my very favourite, beloved chapter 8... I'm seriously spoiling you guys! I can't keep this up for much longer, I haven't written thaaaat much more, and then it's gonna take a while to finish each new chapter! *frowns* Well... I'm gonna figure out something... Hehehehe!
Expecting a calmer chapter now that they're all safely hidden in a motel, huh? Well... if you do, I'm gonna let you down. It's one of the most intense chapters so far! And... oh... did I mention it's my favourite?! *giggles* So... Um... Prepare yourselves for some insanity, and start reading! And please, please, pleaaaase... PLEASE REVIEW! *falls on her knees*
*bursts in hysterical laughing*
*stands up again*
Kay, begging's not my thing... *tries to stop herself from giggling once more* But, pleaaase, comment!
Hugs!
Nessie
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We spent the whole day in the motel, ordering McDonalds and sitting closed in our rooms, watching TV. For someone who didn’t know us, this would seem like something perfectly normal. Only that this was nowhere close to normal. I felt completely drained; the use of so much magic for a day had taken its toll on me. Lillian seemed almost just as tired as I was and shortly after we stopped talking, she closed her eyes and fell asleep in a matter of seconds.
I didn’t ask her any more questions about her healing powers… I didn’t dare to. Because if I asked for more information, she’d probably ask me to give her some information about me in exchange. I liked the compromise between us. She wouldn’t ask anymore about me as long as I didn’t ask anymore about her. Tit for Tat, so the basics about her ability were all I knew, for now.
I was on guard all the time; although my gut told me nothing else could go wrong today, I couldn’t make myself relax enough to fall asleep. I just lay there, turning the TV on, changing ten channels per second, giving up, turning off the TV again, throwing the remote in the air and catching it, then starting all over again. I rolled on my left side eventually, deciding I could have a siesta.
Lillian looked so peaceful as she slept. She wasn’t under the comforter and had curled herself in a little ball, bringing her legs to her chest, lying in a fetal position. Her face was so smooth; her skin looked so soft… The image brought me a since of peace and eventually, I started feeling my eyelids growing heavy.
I sank into a deep restless sleep though; I had already begun regretting my decision to sleep. The subconscious mind can be a very scary and revealing place, especially in dreamland.
I had the feeling I was surrounded… trapped, as my dream self landed on a smooth dark surface. High black walls rose endlessly as far as my eyes could see. I couldn’t find a ceiling, but the sky wasn’t visible on the top either. Although I wasn’t familiar with the room, I knew I was at some kind of court.
I could faintly recognize the silver shimmery substance of which ghosts were made of behind the masks they had worn for this dream. I could see the area behind me in the round room filling with some sort of benches, not wooden; they looked as if they were made of something like black stone, so carefully polished that mirrored their faces. Every seat was filled quickly; I could feel stern, cold looks on my back from every direction; like little pins and needles piercing through my skin. A big structure, which looked like the one the judge sat at in courts, took shape and form before my eyes and the distant, stone-cold face of a judge made its appearance. He had on one of those ridiculous wigs like they did in movies, and a pair of small round glasses were fixed on his potato shaped nose. The sight may sound funny, but for me, with the general atmosphere and the pressure of the situation on my shoulders, it was petrifying. I felt cold sweat roll down my face and I wiped it away quickly.
The room was dead quiet; so quiet that I thought I should hold my breath because it echoed too loudly in the silent room. Everyone stood as still as a statue. A prick on my back, stronger than the little pinches of the other looks behind me, drew my attention. I spun around to find my mom sitting there, like she was in the beginning of the week, all human and… alive. Her blond hair fell in waves over her shoulders, framing her face; her porcelain white skin glowed in the bluish lighting of the room. Her eyes though… those silver irises… they had never looked at me with such hatred and revulsion. Her stare fixed on mine, and there was something there… something beyond what the expressions of the others had. Hatred, I realized. She closed her eyes and turned her head, looking away from me.
All of a sudden, a wave of air hit me, as if some door leading outside had opened. And just as fast as it came… it left. A loud thud echoed through the room, a heavy metallic door closing. The clicking of heels on the stone ground turning into an agonizing noise coming closer and closer. I felt relief as Lillian’s sweet face appeared from the shadows. I looked up at her, smiling. She barely glanced at me, and then looked away, just like my mother had, and went to her seat between people I had never seen before and would never see again. My smile faded and I felt my heart pounding inside my chest, scared at the thought that just hit me. Where was Silvia?
I flinched away as I felt something biting through my wrists, some kind of handcuffs made of black smoke closing around them.
“Brian Fabian Karson,” a loud imposing voice said, and I heard a wooden little hammer clanking against the stone.
At the sound of my full name, which was probably not pronounced aloud since the day my parents went to the city hall to register me as a legal, existing person, I turned towards the judge. Suddenly, I felt too weak, too powerless, too small. “We all know why you’re here today to be brought on trial. So let the witnesses come forward,” he said, placing some papers on the desk before him and straightening his robe.
“Wait!” I said, trying to raise my hand in objection. The smoke cuffs pulled my other hand along. The judge’s little pig-like eyes moved; looking at me as if I was some annoying fly, he just saw flying over his soup. “What is this all about? What’s going on here? What’s up with all of you people?!” My voice multiplied in volume, as if it hit the walls and came back, over and over again, echoing into the emptiness.
“Silence!” the judge barked, hitting his hammer once more with fervent gusto.
I struggled with my magical cuffs for a few seconds, trying to break free, but they just seemed to somehow become stronger. Why the heck were they here in the first place?!
“If… the defendant wants to hear again the charges against him, so be it,” he said slowly, causing me to shiver.
A little thin man of sickly stature and yellowish skin came forward, standing close to the judge, but appearing to keep some kind of safe distance from him at the same time, and holding a piece of paper on his hands began reading. “Mr. Karson has been charged with stealing the magic of another necromancer, using it for his own benefit, destroying an Absorber,” that was another name for the Pectlacero’s or Soul Shatterer’s, one I considered too noble to use, “then using the same stolen magic to perform healing that reversed the natural turn of the balance between life and death and… for abandoning family members in time of need.” The little man finished and folded the paper nervously then withdrawing again back into the dark abyss.
“No!” I shouted. “That’s all lies! I didn’t abandon anyone!” I tried taking a few steps forward, but the cuffs extended, a thin line of dark smoke rooting into the ground, hindering me from getting any closer.
“Is it, Brian?” my mother asked accusingly. “Is it really lies? Because what you allowed to happen to our family doesn’t seem very fake to me!” she exclaimed, her silver eyes glowing furiously. One of the uninteresting, almost transparent cold characters that was sitting on a bench on the row right behind her, slid out of the booth, and as my mother jumped up straight out of anger, he lead her out of the room, through the long corridor Lillian had showed up from.
“Today, we have gathered here to re-examine all the charges concerning the defendant. Finally, let the first witness testify again,” the judge said tiredly, as if this whole thing was a waste of time.
This can’t be happening! I thought over and over again, trying to hold my head with both of my hands. This thing is all crazy!
A middle-aged woman appeared wearing what looked like a white gown and had a haircut that could have been in fashion more than fifty years ago. I had a muddled memory of her floating across the alley where I hid Silvia when I went to find my aunt and Lillian. “I saw everything,” she said in a shaky voice. “I saw the boy as he sucked magic from the little, blond necromancer. He stole magic from her!” she said accusingly, pointing at me.
The judge gave her a small nod, and motioned for her to return to her seat. Three more figures that I vaguely remembered as ghosts that lingered around the platform walked up, giving similar testimonies as the first. The more witnesses rose, the more despaired I was becoming. This thing was so real… And I was a lost case. After the fourth witness sat down, I saw my mother quietly returning to her seat, her stare piercing through me again, but even more intently, almost like a stab. Now I knew this would be what Lillian’s dagger would have felt like if I had let her finish the job she was assigned when we first met.
“The juries shall take notes on their thoughts and will announce the results for all the charges together. Moving on to the second charge! Destruction of an Absorber,” he said in a bored tone. “Let the Absorber come forward,” he mumbled. For a second nothing happened. “Let. The. Absorber. Come. Forward, I said,” he growled again, and I felt the familiar chill run up my spine.
The cloaked figure stepped into the lighter part of the room, his shoes clicking on the stone floor. Those deadly, violet eyes shimmered and glowed in the darkness; it didn’t take a lot of thinking to see how soulless he was.
“You were the victim?” the judge inquired, as if he just asked if the meat in the oven was cooked! Victim! How could he ever call that a freaking victim?!
“What the hell?!” I spat furiously. “You’re not serious! You can’t be serious!”
The judge’s pig-like eyes looked at me, just for a split second, and then he slammed his hammer again. “Silence, I say! Defendant, be quiet and let the victim speak!”
The dark figure of the Soul-Shatterer nodded, and after a brief triumphant glance at me, he turned to the judge. “Yes, I was the one attacked. He,” he pointed at me for emphasis, “did send ghosts against me, trying to destroy me.” He lifted his hand where everyone could see and with the other one pulled the glove… revealing just smoke rising to the endless heights of the room. “Which appears to have worked.”
From the booths behind us, I heard many people gasp in shock, as if the most horrible thing around here was my action, and not the fact that he was pure smoke! Smoke testifying against me! Come on, people, already! Get real! You’re believing smoke!
“If you have nothing to add, you may return to your seat,” the judge said, straightening the small round lenses of his glasses on his fat nose. The Soul-Shatterer floated back in the shadows, making me wonder how he even created the illusion of walking if he was nothing but smoke now without real substance. “First witness of the event. You may step up.”
A man around his seventies appeared. He was bent forward, supporting himself with a wooden stick. Oh great! Other than freak show, we brought also Noah to testify! Great, who’s next? Cleopatra? Maybe Shakespeare? He fits the atmosphere. With the ghosts and all. He could hold a skull in one hand and recite, “To be, or not to be?” People would consider it normal here! I shook my head in frustration, trying to make some sense of it all. Since when was I on trialfor using magic? And what the heck is this with me being all wrong and unfair? How was I the monster? Even mom looked at me as if I was some kind of villain. Of the worst kind.
“I saw the young man…” he started. “I felt it in his aura that not all of this magic was his… It was stolen!”
“No! I didn’t steal it!” I objected, taking a step forward; that was all the movement the magical chains allowed me. The smoke around my wrists seemed to grow a little thicker. “I… borrowed it! It was for Silvia’s safety!” I struggled against the cuffs, but it was no use. They wouldn’t budge.
“Oh?” the judge said indifferently. “Borrowed? This means you were intending to give it back?” he growled and hit his hammer for effect. How much I wanted to get over there and smash his precious hammer into fifty thousand pieces!
“I… I mean…” I stammered, feeling at a loss of words.
“You stole your sister’s magic, weakening her. And this was what made you end up here! It was because of you that she died!” the judge barked, but his eyes were cold. They didn’t let any kind of emotion show. As the words left his lips, I felt something inside me shattering.
“D-d-died?” I said breathlessly. My lips trembled and my ears were buzzing. I couldn’t have heard correctly. She couldn’t have died! She couldn’t! I had returned for her! I had! My mother’s hard look seemed to grow even colder, angrier; it felt as if she was turning the imaginary knife that was stabbed in my back.
“Witness, please go on,” the judge said, making a small movement with his fat fingers.
The testimonies of the witnesses that followed, all of them made by ghosts who I had seen in the dark alley when I attacked that soul-sucking monster, were a blur to me, similar things said over and over again. But my mind was frozen, stuck at the judge’s words. “It was because of you that she died!” It couldn’t be… I had promised to take care of her. To keep anything from harming her. I couldn’t have screwed up that much! I would give my own life for hers!
They moved on to the next charge, namely reversing the death of someone whoshould have died. I don’t believe Lillian should have died. She actually shouldn’t have been there in the first place. But they were right when they said that I shouldn’t have used magic to reverse fate’s design. The judge called Lillian forward. She glanced at me through her thick lashes, but not with the usual, sweet look of hers. There was something accusing in it. Like she herself didn’t believe it was right to have done what I did. It was for her, for crying out loud! She can’t blame me for this! I helped her live! She wouldn’t testify against me, would she?
“You were the human who was healed?” the judge inquired, staring right into her.
“Yes, your honor,” Lillian answered.
“And what do you remember happening?” the judge asked again, leaning on his forearms, as if he was going to come closer to her.
“I… We ran from the station…”
“By we you mean…?”
“Brian, me, his aunt and his sister,” Lillian finished for him. “Brian took the child and vanished. He,” she said, nodding towards the direction, where that freaking monster’s smoky leftovers had vanished, “caught up with me and Kellah. He slashed Kellah’s throat open and then he attacked me.”
“Why aren’t you putting him on trial?! He attacked them!” I said furiously, unable to keep my temper in check. I was shaking with anger. Who had planned this sick joke on me?! Lillian’s voice had forced me to focus on what was happening again; I couldn’t wait for this mess to be put in order! Finally someone who would say how things really happened! She would tell them that Silvia was safe and sound! That I saved Lillian, and Lillian saved Kellah!
The by now familiar sound of the hammer ricocheted through the room. This time the judge didn’t say anything else.
“He,” Lillian continued, her look still lingering in the shadows towards the Pectlacero, “was killing me and then Brian showed up. He destroyed him.” Finally, a rational story! That was how things happened! “And he left Kellah lying there and came to me.” What?!
“No!” I exclaimed, my loud voice echoing through the room. “I didn’t leave Kellah to bleed to death!” I actually had. Just not in that order… “I went to her first! I tried to press a piece of fabric on her throat to keep the bleeding in check! Kellah told me to go to Lillian!”
“Is this how you remember it, human?” the judge asked.
Yes, yes, yes, that’s how it is!
“No,” Lillian replied. My jaw dropped in shock. What. The. Hell?! What was going on with everyone in this room?! “He barely glanced at her. He shook his head, muttering something about him using his claws and then came to me. He brought me back.”
“What?! I went to Kellah! I remember that! I did go to Kellah! Yes, he had used his claws! Yes, she had no chances to survive it! Yes, her blood was pitch black! But I. Did. Freaking. Go. To. Her!”
The judge shot me a blood-chilling look and tapped his fingers impatiently on the marble or stone or whatever desk was before him. “And what is your opinion about him bringing you back? Do you believe you should have died, human?” he asked her.
No! You didn’t want to die! You asked me to save you! You caused this! I thought urgently. I didn’t dare to speak my thoughts aloud though; my throat felt dry and was getting tighter and tighter as the seconds passed. I felt like I was being suffocated.
Lillian sucked in a deep breath and eventually nodded. If my eyes could grow wider or my mouth could open more it would have. But that expression was already plastered there from her previous answer. “This was how it was meant to be. That’s the natural order of things. Of life and death.”
“No!” I growled. “You asked me to do it! What you just said is exactly what I would have said! You’d never have said it!” I took a step back, raising my clutched fist to… I didn’t really know who. The smoke became so thick it almost seemed actually tangible. I felt it biting through my skin, as if it was flames. I didn’t step back or flinch though. I stood there, waiting for an answer. And Lillian looked just so… passive. So expressionless, so cold, so distant… This was not the Lillian I knew, or at least thought I knew.
“Human, what happened next?” the judge demanded, appearing to be losing his patience.
“When I came to, there was blood everywhere. Black blood. Kellah was dead and Brian was nowhere to be seen. He ran away.”
“So you chose to save a simple human than one of your own people, yourfamily?” the judge said, this time referring to me.
I narrowed my eyes and clenched my jaw, feeling at a loss. This was not happening. This wasn’t how things happened. “No! Yes, I did heal Lillian-”
“With the magic you stole from Silvia Karson, correct?” he interrupted.
“No! I didn’t steal it, for the last time! But yes, I did heal Lillian. I tried to help my aunt even though she had no chances. Lillian could survive. Kellah is just as human as Lillian is! Maybe even more!” I added, thinking of Lillian’s healing abilities. “Lillian saved Kellah! She healed what I couldn’t!” I said.
There was a heartless creepy laughter echoing through the room, coming from someone in the crowd. Someone from the galley who were watching the trial. “A human healing? This boy is crazy!” a raspy voice yelled from the crowd.
The judge slammed his hammer again, demanding silence. “Did you healanyone, human?”
Lillian shook her head again. “She was completely dead when I came to my senses.”
“And next? What happened next?”
“I was scared. I tried to walk away from the blood, and the body, and find Brian. I ran from the station, but heard a cry not far from there. It was Silvia. The other Absorber had found her. She didn’t seem to be able to fight him off. He killed her.”
“No!” I said, not wanting to hear more. “This never happened! What is wrong with you, people?!” I turned to the crowd, to my mother. “Nothing happened like that! Silvia is alive! Kellah is alive!”
“You abandoned your family. You left them vulnerable. You let them die.” I watched as my mother’s lips moved, but it wasn’t her voice that I heard saying the words. The voice was male and raspy, sending chills down my spine and making chill bumps rise on my arms. I turned around, to look at the direction it came from. The judge.
I saw violet eyes flashing. A hood made of smoke materialized around him, covering his face. All but the eyes. They glowed triumphantly, knowing the battle we fought, was just won. And they were the winners.
“You abandoned them. You never cared about saving them. You let your sister be vulnerable. You involved your aunt in things bigger than she could ever understand. You are letting yourself be bound with someone who will just make your life harder. You are guilty.”
The word echoed as the court dissolved.
Guilty.
Guilty.
Guilty.
And I was falling.
“No, I’m not!” I yelled as I jumped up from the bed.
I was feeling hot and sweaty and was trembling. There was no smoke around my wrists. There was no black room. Just this motel’s room; everything had a yellow-orangish tint from the tightly shut curtains. My heart was pounding, and I felt like punching something hard. Like tearing something up. I tried to even my breathing, eventually turning the panting to deep, slow, controlled breaths. Lillian next to me was still asleep; she stirred a little, as if something bothered her and she rolled to her other side, hugging her pillow tightly.
I stood up and went to the bathroom. I clutched the edges of the sink until my knuckles turned white and looked straight into my reflection. The color was gone from my face and my blonde hair seemed to be sticking on my forehead, being messy and pointing in every direction. The silver was almost gone from my eyes, making them look almost the electric blue they were deep down inside. It happened when I used up big amounts of magic in a very short period of time. Which wasn’t a lot, but it had happened before. It wasn’t the first time I had slipped. I wasn’t full necromancer, like mom or Silvia, I was partially human. It was a very small part, but it was there. This was my weakness. This was why mom forced me to hide in the cupboard as if I was a useless baby and didn’t let me fight by her side against the monsters.
I let my forehead touch the cold surface of the mirror. I splashed some cold water in my face and quietly walked to the bed. Lillian was still curled into a ball as if she was feeling cold, so I took the blanket and covered her with it. Making the least sound possible, I tiptoed to the door and went out in the hall. I entered Kellah and Silvia’s room to find them both soundly asleep, safe.
A wave of relief surged through me. This was all a dream. A freaking nightmare. They were both alive. I hated it when the ghosts played tricks on my mind, messing with me in my sleep. When I slept, I was more vulnerable. I opened up my mind and all my worries and fears came closer to the surface through my dreams. And the ghosts just loved playing with them every now and then. Messing with my conscience was a hobby of theirs since… always. I always had some strong morals since mom was so adamantly pressuring me to understand how it was vital to use my magic as little as I could, and she put great emphasis on teaching me how to tell the difference from right and wrong. Those minds were the most interesting to uneasy souls. An easy character would just come to terms with the situation; they wouldn’t get strong reactions like mine. According to them, or so it seems to me at least, there’s no fun in messing with those people.
I closed their door again softly, turning back to my room.
“Brian?” The voice made me jump, but I put it together quickly and looked at Lillian. “You alright?”
“Fine,” I mumbled, looking down and going past her as if she wasn’t there.
She followed me, closing the door behind me, catching up with me and my stupid limping foot easily. I couldn’t wait for the moment it would heal up and be good as new again.
“Thought you were asleep,” I said, realizing I wasn’t getting rid of her anytime soon.
“I was. I heard you yelling at some point and woke up, but you were asleep. Had a nightmare?” she said, her look softening.
I looked away. I didn’t need anybody’s sympathy. Especially Lillian’s. The words from the nightmare came to my mind. “You are letting yourself be bound with someone who will just make your life harder.” “Nothing happened.”
“You seemed to quiet after a bit, so I went back to sleep. But I felt you covering me with the blanket and woke up again,” she continued shyly.
“Oh, okay.” I let myself fall heavily back on the reclining armchair across the bed, just because I knew she wouldn’t be able to sit next to me. To my surprise though, she sat on the arm of the armchair and let her arms drop on her lap, looking at me.
“Maybe you should talk about that nightmare of yours,” she said ultimately. I glared at her. She half smiled. “You screamed like a little girl. It seemed pretty bad.”
“There's no way I screamed like a girl,” I said with certainty.
“Okay, yeah, maybe not. But you did scream. And it was loud enough to wake me up. I don't wake up easily.”
I snorted. “Yeah, I noticed. You woke up just because I put a blanket on top of you.”
“But when I sleep with someone...” Her face began turning pink and she bit her lip nervously. I wasn't sure I had seen her nervous before. She was always looking so confident, so sure of herself. "When I sleep like nothing can touch me, when I feel safe, a bomb could explode next to me and I wouldn't notice."
“I could touch you,” I objected.
She seemed to turn rosier. “Yeah, well... Anyway... You said things in your sleep. They... they sounded like they had to do with the whole event at the station. If there's something you want to say... You know, talking to people is supposed to make you feel better. Better to let it out than bottle it up.”
“Has it ever worked for you?” I inquired.
She frowned. “Hm... As a matter of fact, yes. It has. So, care to share your dream?”
“Nope,” I said calmly. “I'm good.”
She shook her head. “You think you got it all under control, Brian, but you can't put such a mess in order on your own. You need support. And you can have it. You're not alone.” She slipped one hand over mine and her touch sent tingles through my entire body. I quickly jerked my hand away and she just smiled as she put her hand back in her lap.
The nightmare's sayings came back to my mind. Maybe the ghosts liked messing around, but deep inside, there was a dose of truth in what they had said. “You abandoned them. You never cared about saving them. You let your sister get vulnerable. You involved your aunt in things bigger than she could ever understand. You are letting yourself be bound with someone who will just make your life harder. You are guilty.”
“No. I'm not alone,” I agreed. Her face softened, finally glad I realized. Too bad her relief would be temporary. “I'm not alone,” I said again. “But if I want to get this done right, I am gonna have to be.”
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