Chapter 13: Sleepless Nights, Tormenting Dreams and Soft Touches
Author's Note: On the run again. Hmm, that mustn't be good for Brian's mental health. Maybe I should loosen the ropes a bit... Or maybe... Nah... Hahaha. Sorry for the mysterious note, you're not going to find out anytime soon who wrote it. I think I might keep confusing you for a little while longer. *insert evil laugh* You think it's time for Brian to talk to Lillian about what he is? Well... Not happening either. But there's some other things that are going to happen. Read and comment! And above everything else, enjoy! *smiles*
Lots of love,
Nessie
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“What are we doing here?” Lillian asked the moment I opened the sports equipment store’s door.
“If you stop asking questions, you’ll find out soon enough,” I snapped. Silvia was holding my hand tightly, and she was sucking in every little detail of the room surrounding us carefully with her big, silver eyes.
“But you don’t make any sense at all!” she exclaimed. “First, you give us barely fifteen minutes to get ready, and then you call a cab and get us to the smallest, most unknown village of the area and start searching for sports equipment! No. Sense. At. All!”
I turned around suddenly, trying not to frighten Silvia as I pulled her around. “Listen to what I say and listen carefully,” I started in a low but threatening tone. “Do not make a scene inside the shop, okay? I have a plan. Unlike you. So be quiet. And as I told you before, you can go if you want. You don’t have to stick with us like a leech. I think I’ve made that clear already. Nothing holding you here.”
She placed her hands on her hips and licked her lips. Everything on her showed how annoyed she was; even the way her thick lashes went up and down, made me think she wanted to lure me in a corner and snap my neck or something. Kellah was discreetly watching the argument from a distance, pretending to browse through stacks of skiing clothes. When the salesgirl asked her if she wanted something, she thanked her kindly and said it was okay. Then it was our turn.
“May I help you?” the girl asked and smiled in that typical way every saleswoman did. Sadly for her, I couldn’t mirror her expression.
“Yes,” I said immediately. “We’re looking for hiking equipment.”
I felt Lillian sucking in her breath next to me and I was sure I could imagine what she’d say if the girl wasn’t standing before us smiling intently.
“Oh. Um… sure. Come this way please.” She led us through some more displays in the store and following her through a narrow, poorly lit hall, we reached the back of the store. To my dislike, she began babbling. “Ya know, we’re not really used-” she stopped to suppress a wave of giggles and then started again, “-to to people showing up in the middle of the night-” another pause, “-asking for hiking boots and stuff. You’re not intending to start climbing the mountain in the middle of the night, are you?”
“We haven’t decided on that one yet,” I said curtly.
Lillian glared at me and I was sure I saw her eyes literally glowing with fury. What?! She mouthed.
When the salesgirl turned the other way, I grabbed her wrist roughly and pulled her aside. Leaning close to her ear, I whispered, “Nobody asked you to join us. You’re free to go anytime you like. Now who’s running away like a little girl, huh?”
She shook me off violently and shoved me back. “I’m not going anywhere,” she muttered and walked closer to the clerk, who started talking again.
“Oh, you really shouldn’t try. Night climbing is bad trouble. Accidents happen. There are wild animals. You seriously shouldn’t. Even the experienced hikers don’t usually attempt such things. Have you at least had the basic training?”
“No,” Lillian said and I wished the girl would turn around again because I had a few more things to tell her. “You wouldn’t happen to know where we could take some lessons, immediate-like, would you?” Lillian continued, glancing at me with a triumphant look on her face.
“Oh sure. We got a bunch of tourists coming here just for the mountain. There’s a training station on the foot of it actually. It’s a big, part stone, part wood building, not easy to miss. And you can stay there during the sessions. It’s almost empty at this season. This kind of weather is repelling every kind of adventure seeker.” She pointed at the cold night out of the window. The air was chilly, but the fact that there was no snow or ice must be a good sign. Right? “You must really like danger to come here in the middle of the winter, huh?”
“That obvious, huh? Total adrenaline junkies.” I murmured gloomily, turning around to spot Silvia. She was playing with some helmets, trying them on and giggling at herself. Some of her Shadow People surrounded her, looking curiously.
“Oh, yeah. No offense, but you must be pretty close to insanity to even consider doing that. Adrenaline junkie or not.”
“You have no idea,” Lillian mumbled, placing her hand in front of her mouth so that I was the only one to hear.
“So you’re gonna need some backpacks, boots…” And the list went on and on. When we left the store, we were loaded with bags and my head felt too full with all the information about what everything we bought was used for.
Kellah had mysteriously not uttered a single word since we left; no questions, no objections, not even a sarcastic comment about how I – according to her – was so much like my father.
It had gotten dark hours ago, so we would have a lot of trouble finding our way around the town if there weren’t so many signs pointing us in the right direction to head towards the training station. It was a big building, just like the talkative clerk had described, made of gray stone with wooden columns supporting the roof above the balcony-like front porch. Yellow light came from the windows on the main floor and when Kellah spotted it, she sped up, hurrying to get inside and get warm. I hurried as well because I could see Silvia was getting cold, and she was trembling like a leaf and her breath rose like clouds of frost-like smoke. Kellah did all the talking, because – according to her again – I would probably scare the heck out of those people with my brusque way.
“Of course we have a room,” someone from the staff said, the only person who was probably still awake at this late hour. “But you need to share, if that’s alright with you.”
“Yes, of course, there’s no problem with that, family and all.” Kellah agreed.
The guy led us to the first floor and handed over the key of the room when we were standing in front of it. “You may rest now. Since you’re the only ones staying here at the moment, we can probably have a more flexible training schedule. We can start in the morning.”
“That’s great,” Lillian said with enthusiasm, which to me looked obviously fake. I wondered if the guy had really not noticed because he was tired, or ignored it. I saw how he was ogling Lillian just a few seconds ago. Involuntarily, I felt as if something was pricking my skin, messing with my temper. You’re jealous, Brian… a little sing-song voice crooned inside my head and I had to make a great deal of effort to keep myself from shaking it violently. No, no, I’m not! I cannot be jealous! Why would I be? I don’t care about her!
“Goodnight. If you need anything, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to come find me. Anytime of the night is fine,” the guy said, emphasizing anytime as he looked at Lillian then said goodnight to us for the last time and went down the stairs, returning to his post. Without any further talking, we went in the room and placed our stuff in a corner in front of a closet. I straightened my shoulders, taking in the room still trying to clear my head. That jerk was a little obvious with his flirting! Again, what do I care?! There was something I didn’t like at all here. Yeah, the pervert downstairs! Really, Brian… enough already!
I actually did shake my head to clear my thoughts and looked around the room again. Really?! My luck never ceased to amaze me. There was a double bed and… bunks. At the moment, neither choice seemed quite attractive. I’ve had many and still fresh traumatic experiences with both.
“How are we going to sleep?” Lillian asked as if reading my mind.Thank God she couldn’t actually do that!
“Let me show you. It’s quite simple. You lie on the bed, close your eyes and pull the covers on top of you,” I said sourly.
“That wasn’t clever, Brian,” she snapped. “I meant, who is going to sleep where?”
“Brian and Silvia could sleep in the double bed and we can take the bunks,” Kellah suggested.
“I’ll take the one on the top,” Lillian offered.
“Always on the top…” I mumbled.
“Excuse me?” Lillian said, lifting her head to look at me. With the shadows of the yellow light that was filling the room, her eyes looked even bigger, and her lashes longer. It made talking harder and staring easier. Ugh! What is this girl doing to me?
“Nothing,” I mumbled and before she had the chance to start an actual conversation, I helped Silvia on the bed and crawled under the covers from the other side. “Goodnight.” I ignored any kind of sounds after that, light switches clicking, backpack zippers scratching, fabric moving against skin as Kellah and Lillian probably changed into their PJ’s. I hadn’t even bothered doing that. I was just too tired to care.
I kept trashing about in my bed, rolling from side to side uncomfortably. I only stopped when Silvia curled into a little ball on my side and decided it would be best to stay still and let at least her sleep. I looked at the dancing shadows on the ceiling, the ghosts of branches moving in the wind. I could feel the windows rattling violently, the sound magnifying inside my uneasy mind. I closed my eyes annoyed and ended up in the conclusion that I could not stay up all night. Falling asleep wasn’t half as difficult as I had expected. It was just that like everything else, I was making a way too big thing out of it.
* * * * *
Suddenly, I felt as if I was drowning… like… like I was sucked into nothingness. Then I realized there was ground under my feet. Colorless, texture-less ground. It didn’t feel too slippery, but neither too rough. Not even, but not uneven either. I couldn’t match it with any other kind of material I knew… I didn’t know anything about it, other than it was there, making me stand on my feet. And around me… there was only black. I made a panicked turn around, trying to figure out where I was, where I should go. To be honest, I wanted to punch a wall really hard, but there was no wall… only that black thing… like… smoke. I knew what that was. Almost. Black smoke. Magic. Necromancer magic was being used. It could be one of them as well, but I didn’t feel that usual chill in my spine…
A faint ghostly purple-white light glowed through the smoke and before I knew what I was doing, I was following it, drawn to it and trying to reach it. Maybe it was clear, bright sky that I was seeing on the other side, right?
I knew the answer was no, but I kept going anyway. It seemed as if the small, brave rays of light that managed to reach me, somehow pierced through the smoke, causing it to give way and create some kind of narrow path for me to walk through. Although I had the worst of feelings about this light and the smoke around it, I was almost thankful there was a path. I always hated that smoke. It gave me the feeling I was choking. With every step I took, the light got brighter, the smoke less dense, until I stood there, too shocked to move. My mind felt numb, I blinked several times to make sure the ethereal image before my eyes really was there. I pinched my forearm, trying to wake myself up. Nothing changed, other than my arm hurt a little, so I ended up with the conclusion I wasn’t asleep at all. Maybe…
The smoke rose, creating a small violet-silver cloud, floating just inches from the odd material I was standing on. It moved constantly, swirling and twirling in small spirals, restlessly, trying to create a shape, to take a form. Eventually, it stopped, sliding slowly into the air, creating a curvy figure, a figure I had been seeing a lot for the last few weeks. Lillian.
The ghost had a scary resemblance to when they, the monsters, attacked Kellah and her, when the Pectlacero tried to rip her soul from her body. I stood motionless for a few, slow, torturing seconds while trying to convince myself that my mind was playing tricks on me. The ghost’s end was not defined, I could not make out the outline of her feet; it looked more like a swirling tail, like a jinni. There was some kind of thin thread of the same smoke-like substance the ghost was made of, which kept her soul connected to what took me a while to realize was actually Lillian’s body. What the heck is going on? Am I dreaming or am I awake? Is that really Lillian and what happened to her?
She lay there, still and white, pale as a ghost… what an irony… Her complexion pallid, completely colorless, all the pink lost from her cheeks which were usually bright as rose petals.
Her soul, floating right above her, still had that vibrant shade of violet; she wasn’t dead yet, but she didn’t have much time either. As soon as the head and the floating hair formed fully, her chin jerked up, her eyes met me. They stood out even more intently now, the reddish brown against that lavender purple; unlike most ghosts I’d seen though, her look wasn’t piercing and scary… just… just pleading, begging, penetrating me to my soul.
Her mouth moved, forming words which I already knew she was going to say. I stared for a second, an unclassified expression clouding my characteristics, uncertainty mixed with fear and knowledge and expectance of what was happening. I had seen it coming. I knew it would be since I made the idiotic choice of healing Lillian. Yet, I remained quiet, listening carefully to what she had to say.
“I know,” I agreed, nodding and grabbing a fistful of my hair nervously, tousling it, just to do something and not stand awkwardly still. “I know…”
The question now was, did the real Lillian know? Subconsciously, she must; but did she really have any idea? I highly doubted it. I didn’t even expect her to remember what happened after the Pectlaceros got to them. When her soul had been slipping away, out of her body, albeit she was unconscious herself, she had talked to me. Her almost-ghost, had talked to me. But Lillian had probably not a clue about that, no conscious memory of it at least. She never brought it up, and she had the tendency of speaking her inquiries out loud. Maybe it was better that way. Were she fully aware of what was happening to her, she would have probably been scared to death. And she had a good reason too.
I needed time. I needed more time, but she was running out of it.
Suddenly, the mist grew thicker and constricted, like a python, curling its slimy, cold body around us. My head turned instantly to Lillian’s ghost, still looking at me, falling silent and speechless. Its color was slipping away, the dead violet of it turning more and more silver with each passing second.
“No!” I shouted and ran to her.
My knees gave in and I sat next to her on the ground. In my disarray, I grasped her shoulders, clutching on them so hard my nails almost broke her pale skin. I shook her body, trying to wake her up. Her eyelids didn’t even flutter.
“Please, no…” I said and my voice rang throughout the empty room, sounding hoarse and shaky. “No… Just no… please…” I didn’t let go of her, but my hold loosened, her limp body supported just by my arms. I felt weak, powerless, my insides like jelly. Not the good kind though. It was the kind of way I had felt when I didn’t do anything to help Silvia almost five years ago; the feeling that I was utterly and completely useless.
The smoke inspissated, turning so dense I could barely breathe. I felt it creeping into my lungs, filling them, choking me from the inside.
* * * * *
I jumped up, gasping for air. I supported my weight with my hands and sat up straight, still panting heavily. The air was clear, nothing like the smoke that almost suffocated me in the dream.
I kicked the covers away and stood up, trying not to wake Silvia up. She looked so peaceful now that she was sleeping. Her blond hair fell like a veil around her, sprawling across the length of her pillow. Her alabaster skin stood out in the darkness, lit by the soft beams of moonlight creeping through the curtains. I adjusted the blanket over her gently, trying not to shake her in the process, and stroked her hair before looking away. I clutched a fistful of my hair, struggling to clear my muddled thoughts.
Without even realizing it, I made my way to the window; I looked at the rocky terrain stretching endlessly before my eyes, going up and up until it was lost in the night’s darkness. The landscape was suspiciously calm; too peaceful. The wind wasn’t blowing and everything was dead still; nothing moved in the bare from trees incline. I squinted my eyes, trying to make out some details; anything that would give away that we had been surrounded. That we had been followed and had fallen into a trap, but even ten minutes later of staring and concentrating, nothing happened. I let go of the fabric of the dark curtain, letting it fall heavily back in place, hiding myself and the room behind it. Creating a false sense of security. Yes. That was what I needed at the moment.
Kellah was deeply asleep, having pulled the quilt on top of her head, the same way she did all the years that I knew her. My gaze moved from my aunt to Lillian. That girl who had invaded my life so quickly, coming fast and furious, sticking with us just by an unfortunate twist of fate. She was wearing nothing but a long, gray T-shirt and was curled in a ball bringing her legs close to her chest, her knees almost touching her chin. She was still, but a faint trembling was obvious; the covers were thrown at the foot of the bed.
Robotically, my arm stretched forward and I stopped myself the moment my brain processed what I was doing.
Brian! Cut it out! No! Do. NOT. Go. There! a small voice inside me yelled.
For a split second, I obeyed. I stood there and let my hand drop to my side. As soon as the voice stopped though, I moved again.
No, no, no! it said again.
For the first time after a long while, I hushed he only voice I was always listening to. My sense of reason.
I picked up the quilt and pulled it over her, my hand brushing against her arm. I felt her relaxing a little under my warm fingers.
The voice was still there, transformed into a pointless mumbling I chose to ignore. To hell with all the stupid rules I’d created! A faint smile formed on my face and I caressed Lillian’s cheek before letting go; not before catching the cerise shade on her face though. The sight almost made me excited. She blushed when I touched her, even in her sleep. What was she dreaming? Probably whatever it was surely it was better than what I was forced to see every time I drifted in dreamland.
Then though, as soon as I put some distance between Lillian and me, the voice started again, ringing inside my head so loudly it was physically almost painful.
Idiot! Yeah, go ahead, get involved! Let’s see how that goes! She’s running out of time! Go and get attached like the brainless moron you are!
I resisted the urge to yell back and punch a wall. Instead, I sat at the edge of the bed, all my muscles tensed, hair clutched in my fists, eyes closed, sucking in air greedily in short gasps.
No… I can’t do it… I thought. I can’t allow myself to get attached in any way… but…Ugh! She is literally driving me insane!
Ever since the incident with Silvia, I had come to terms with the situation, not trying to deny it for a single second. That night, it was decided that as long as we breathed, our lives would be living hell. And trying to imagine that the factslike this were wrong, would just bring us in a worse position than we already were, if that were even possible. Ultimately, probably leading us to our deaths. This was when I had realized it was vital to keep Silvia alive… and safe from all of them; that it was more important than anything else in the world. My life didn’t matter if my sister died. Nothing wouldn’t matter anymore. Horrible things would happen if they caught her. I just couldn’t let it happen. I still can’t. I won’t.
Suddenly angry with myself and with everything around me – especially that idiotic world of the dead that was floating around the room, going right through ours which got me into so much trouble – I stood up and kicked the air frantically. I knew the movement was stupid; that it wouldn’t help in the least, but I had to do something. Even if that meant to put the blame on someone else’s shoulders; someone only I and very few others could see.
With clumsy, nervous movements, I walked in the bathroom and splashed lukewarm water on my face, hoping it would have some calming effect on my nerves. No such luck though. It just made me more alert and paranoid. I kept thinking someone would attack in the meantime, take Silvia and get lost while the sound of the water whooshing in my ears would make sure I was unaware of everything. Yeah, I am losing it! I really need to get some restful, dreamless sleep.
“Brian,” I heard a small voice and practically jumped all the way to the ceiling.
“What?” I growled, realizing it was just my aunt.
“You alright?” She placed a cool hand on my arm and I turned to face her.
Her hair looked tangled, she looked tired and just wanting to crawl back into bed. I wondered why she wasn’t. “Yeah. Just a dream made me uneasy. I’ll be fine.”
She raised her eyebrows, and I realized it must have been because I told her what was wrong just like that. No rude remarks, no rough comments. Once more, my defenses were down. I was beginning to believe that I shouldn’t talk to anyone after waking up in the middle of the night. “Oh,” she finally said.
“Want to use the bathroom?” I asked, wanting to end the conversation; if there was even supposed to be one going on.
“No. Just checking on how you were doing.”
“Goodnight then,” I said quickly, ready to walk away.
“Um… Do you think we could talk a little?”
“I’m tired,” I groaned.
“But you can’t sleep,” she stated, matter-of-factly.
“No. But if I don’t try again, I never will.”
She raised her eyebrows, and weighted my expression. “Seriously? Come on, both of us know you don’t believe a word you’re saying. And as your aunt, I know you better than that. When you wake up in the middle of the night, not even the strongest sleeping pills can get you back to sleep.”
“It’s been a while since I needed sleeping pills,” I objected. “Things have changed.”
“By that, you mean you haven’t tried to bypass sleep altogether ever since? Yes, I know that. Now it’s more like sleep is bypassing you, and I don’t think that it ever did ask for your consent.”
“Whatever, Kellah, I am in no mood, or condition to chit-chat right now. Okay?”
“No. Brian, I’ve been trying to have an actual conversation with you since Luisa died and you showed up at the kennel! I know you’re not the talking kind and I know you’re a natural jerk…”
“Hey!” I exclaimed.
She gave me the Look and continued, “But it’s not about you, it’s about Silvia! So you need to find a way to cooperate, even if it is... Difficult. For. You. It’s been the same for me as well. Do you think I consider this a walk on the beach? Or, in our case, on the mountain?! Why did you bring us here, Brian? Why the heck did we have to buy hiking equipment and have to climb up that mountain, which nobody attempts at this time of year? You’re putting us all in danger, especially your five-year-old sister! She’s five! How in the world do you expecther to climb a mountain which is a challenge for pro hikers?!”
“You know how? With my help, as always. And I can’t stand here, with my arms crossed, waiting for them to get her. Because anywhere we go, they’re going to find us. We don’t stand a damn chance against those freaking monsters! Climbing that stupid mountain is our only hope!”
“What do you mean?”
“Has mom ever talked to you about the friends she made during the little time she traveled?” I inquired.
“Vaguely mentioned it, I believe,” she agreed.
“She came here,” I explained. “She knows people on that mountain who can help us.”
“What? Have you lost your mind? There’s no way there are people living there!”
“Wanna bet?” I challenged her.
She frowned and lightly tapped her bare foot on the wooden floor. “And whatkind of people are they exactly?”
“Some who can offer some protection for us for the time being. We can hide there for a while, to figure out where we should go. And maybe… finally… get some answers. It’s going to be beneficial for both us, and Lillian.” And we need to get there before we run out of time… before she runs out of time, I thought darkly.
“Lillian?” Her brows creased and an expression of confusion clouded her face. “What kind of benefit could there be for her getting there? What have I missed Brian? What aren’t you telling me?”
I wanted to slap my forehead at my stupidity, at letting more out than I should. I tried to keep a straight face and I shrugged. “Nothing. Whatever. She might be able to stay there and be protected. That way we’re also getting rid of her when we have to leave that place,” I said, trying to make my voice sound indifferent.
“What is going on between Lillian and you anyway? It’s not like I haven’t noticed there’s a lot of tension between you two. Like… you really seem like a couple that’s fighting a lot.”
“We’re not a couple!” I practically roared. I cleared my throat and tried to take some calming breaths. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said in a quiet voice.
“Whatever you say. But let me say this, Brian, the way you just reacted speaks volumes, dear boy.” She smirked then nodded but even from her tone alone, I could sense she didn’t believe me. “Trust me, one of these days, we’re gonna have that talk. And that is going to be before we leave for that damned mountain because I think you’re insane and even trying to climb that thing is going to be the death of us. We’ll never make it to the top whole.”
“We will,” I said instantly. We have to, I whispered inside my head.
“We’re still gonna have that talk. You can’t avoid it forever.”
“Dream on,” I mumbled and threw the covers on top of my head, although she was right. I wouldn’t sleep again for the night. Is she right? Have I doomed us already? No! I have to believe that they can help us protect Silvia and save Lillian. Please… let me be making the right decision and let us get there in time, I thought to myself and sighed as I concentrated on the ticking of the clock to drown out Lillian’s soft breathing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
To read the next chapter... You'll have to wait till the next update! :D
OMG! That poor boy! Now he not only has to worry and keep Silvia safe, but his healing Lillian has consequences, and not good ones?! can't wait for the next chapter! Will they make it up the mountain before THEY find them??!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome story Ness!!
WendyD