Author's Note: Bella finally gets go Jacksonville, and I'm really satisfied from the way this chapter turned out. You get to know Renee, who is mentioned in the Saga but Stephenie never really had the chance to let us see the real her. Just like Phil. I really think she deserved a little longer than a weekend with her mother in the saga. You will see how both of their characters will develop in the story (I want to hope that I did a good job with that *laughs*) and... Surprise! New character! Yep, obviously Bella had to meet new people in Jacksonville! But don't worry, her life in Forks isn't forgotten! She will still keep in contact with the Cullen's and Charlie!
Lots of love,
Nessie
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At the airport, two warm hands wrapped around me as Renee pulled me into an excited hug.
“Oh, honey, I missed you!” She pulled away and smiled warmly at me.
“Hi, mom.” I tried half smiling but not really achieving it. “Hi, Phil,” I told him as he was standing a little further behind in his baseball uniform. “Just come back from training?”
“Yeah. Actually I came to say “hi” and I need to get back to pitch. There’s a big game coming up.” He came closer and placed an arm over my shoulders and another over Renee’s and moved us toward the luggage stand. “So, where am I taking my girls today?”
“We’ll go home, Phil, Bella seems tired… Unless… Bella? You haven’t been to the sea for a long time. Would you like Phil to drop us off at the beach?” Renee wanted me to say yes; it was obvious in her pleading eyes. We always used to have so much fun together at the beach, and both of us loved the sea. She had missed our time together too, but I was beyond exhausted, physically and emotionally.
“Actually I’d like to lie down. I’m tired from the flight; jet lag probably.”
She gave a small nod and Phil removed his hand from my shoulders so that I could go and get my suitcase. The one filled with new ‘summer’ clothes that Alice, of course, added to my suitcase. "New clothes are a must, Bella! You need a renewal of your wardrobe! Let alone that I won’t be there to make sure you won’t kill any fashion." She kept holding on to her fashion obsession and acting normal although I knew she missed him too. All of them did, and Rosalie would never forgive me for this, reaffirming it was all my fault.
The car ride wasn’t as quiet as the one with Charlie, Renee was way more talkative. She was joking and smiling and asking for an update on any news. ‘I’m a mess, mom. My immortal boyfriend was killed by the mate of the vampire who wanted to kill me last May, when I said I fell from a glass window, remember? This is my news, what about you?’ I wanted to tell her, but there was no way I’d spit this out. I felt my eyes watering at the thought, but pretended to be laughing at a joke Phil said… Something with a frog and a chicken?
“Honey, you’re gonna love the house! It’s so pretty and it’s painted pale yellow and is really close to the beach! You can actually see the water from the living room window!” Renee was doing her best trying to keep me excited.
I smiled, trying to show I was paying attention when the truth was that with my mind’s eye, I was traveling all the way back to that alien planet; the ever green, ever cold Forks of mine. The place that I hated so much at first, but grew on me completely through the last year.
“Bella, you’d better wear something lighter at home, black clothes aren’t good for this time of the year in Jacksonville. You’ll be fried after the first steps outside.”
I heard Renee chuckling as Phil pulled in the driveway.
“This is it!” Renee clapped her hands in excitement, expecting an equally cheerful reaction from me.
I tried filling my voice with emotion as I said, “Wow, its amazing! I love it, Renee.”
I didn’t know if that was the response she wanted, but that was all I could give her. She opened my door and pulled me out of the car, leaving Phil and my suitcase in the car.
“I can’t wait to show you everything! We had a room ready for you in case you wanted to come here for summer or winter break! I cleaned up everything last night to be ready for you!”
“Did you just say that you cleaned? Wow, mom, did you get brainwashed in the Florida sun?” I joked, feeling a little better and a little more like my old self. Maybe Charlie was right..?
“Someone needs to be the neat one when you’re away,” she went on mimicking my teasing tone and nudging me in the ribs.
“Wasn’t Phil the neat one?” I asked more seriously. Phil was the one who was always keeping the house in order; cooked and all when I was away.
“He’s been busy with training camp ever since we moved here, and I have way more free time,” she explained as she pushed me gently into the main hall. “That’s the living room.”
It was a happy room; painted in a light and pale tone of green-blue with a sandy colored carpet on the floor. I recognized the beige sofas from our house in Phoenix in the living room, and noticed a new glass table in the middle with a vase filled with fake sunflowers in the middle. Huh, surprisingly no magazines thrown on the sofas or the table. The TV had its place by the window, and Renee’s Piano was placed against the wall in the corner next to the window.
“You bought fish?” I asked surprised, looking at the big aquarium on the other side of the room. Fish… lots of them… Small, big, orange, grey, black… They were swimming lazily around. It was actually very pretty.
“The house has been a great inspiration for me. Did I tell you that I began drawing?” she asked, and showed me a painting on the wall over the aquarium. It resembled a beach with palm trees and golden sand.
“This is beautiful!” I told her.
“I bought a series with drawing lessons… You watch the teacher on the TV, and do what he says.” She laughed. “And the whole house seemed so exotic to me that I thought that I should bring fish in here.”
“Only your mind could work this way,” I joked.
Actually, the house wasn’t very big; there was a kitchen, two bathrooms, a small study with a computer that seemed to be new – nothing like the one in Charlie’s place – and Renee and Phil’s room, as well as the guestroom that was transformed into my room.
“I know how much you love turquoise, so I got paint and Phil helped me change the wall color a couple of weeks ago.”
“Did you know for two weeks that I’d be coming? I just learned two days ago!” I said and let myself fall heavily on the bed.
“Honey, Charlie has been thinking about sending you to Jacksonville for a month now! He just didn’t know how to tell you and really did not want to send you away, but finally felt he had no other choice,” she explained to me with sadness in her voice as she sat next to me rubbing my back.
I could feel my eyes fill with tears, a little from the wall color and a little from what Renee told me.
“Bella… Please, honey, don’t cry…”
She pulled me closer, and I kept crying there for a long time until I heard Phil’s voice.
“So… ladies, where should I leave the suitcase?” he said happily from the hall, and I heard him coming closer. He and Renee exchanged a look and he whispered a silent “Oh, okay… Um, I gotta go…” and left closing the door behind him after placing the suitcase at the end of the bed.
Renee stroked my hair and rocked me like I was still five. “It’s okay… I know it’s too much, Bella, I really do.”
“No, you don’t really know. I’m falling apart, Renee. And Ch-ch-charlie sent me away because he got sick of me too…”
“That’s not true, baby. Charlie was just worried. He’s been on ‘father duty’ for like half a year and he saw you being like that with no end in sight. He freaked out. Even I am freaking out. What do you say to going swimming? It will take your mind off of this for a little while and the sun and sand will do you good. You are way too pale. Natural Vitamin D will do wonders for your mental health. The sea is still awesome. Actually, it’s almost as if it is still summer!” She said trying to lighten the mood.
I nodded in defeat.
“Alright then. Your swimming suits are in the third drawer in the corner. I’ll be waiting!” She kissed my forehead and left closing the door to give me some privacy.
Instead of going to get my bikini from there, I opened my suitcase that Phil had left by the door and started putting all my clothes in the closet just to keep my mind from thinking about the walls and Edward in general… He was wearing that turquoise sweater that day at the Italian restaurant in Port Angeles… It looked so good on him… Keep your thoughts on the clothes! I commanded myself.
“Bella? Bella?” Renee asked and knocked on the door.
“Yeah?” I asked and my voice was still breaking a little.
“There’s a friend of yours on the phone. An Alice?”
I went to get it quickly and almost tripped on my way to the door.
“Hey! Easy! The phone isn’t going anywhere, honey!” She laughed at me being my normal clumsy self at least.
I half smiled and took the phone from her hand.
“Bella!” I heard the high pinched voice of my best friend on the other side of the line. She sounded like home to me, or at least what used to be home.
“Hey, Alice.”
“How was your flight?”
“Um… fine… it wasn’t bad.”
“How are you, Bella?” She asked more seriously this time.
“Fine.” I didn’t have to tell her everything now, did I? “I was just gonna go with Renee to the beach for a swim.”
“Bella… Seriously… How are you? It’s me, Alice, remember? You don’t have to fake with me.”
“I told you, I’m alright!” I said maybe a bit more snarky than I should.
“What happened?” She asked ignoring me.
“The walls… They… they’re turquoise! It makes me think of him so much! And I miss Forks! And you! And Charlie and everything!”
“Aw… Bella, don’t worry. It’s gonna be alright… Just enjoy your time with Renee… I see you coming back.”
“Really? When?”
“I don’t know. But it is this year! And I’m gonna come over there to see you too as soon as I can! It will be only for the night, but it’s still something, isn’t it? Could Renee have picked a sunnier place?!”
“I know…”
“Bella, honey, come on! The sun won’t wait on us forever! You might even tan a bit if you decide to get out of there anytime soon!” Renee groaned impatiently.
“Comin’!” I shouted at her. “Alice, be careful with what you say, I’m putting you on speaker.”
“Okey dokey! So how’s the house? In general, I mean,” she kept talking as I turned the speaker on and left the phone on my desk to change into a suit.
I had added more than five new swimming suits in the drawer. Thanks to… “Alice!” I groaned. “How can I decide what to wear when you give me so many swimming suit choices?! I was fine with only two; it made the choosing much easier!”
I pulled all of them out, and placed them on my bed to take a better look. Soooo many! I couldn’t decide! Since when do I care about dressing? I thought to myself. As long as it keeps my mind busy, I will go on doing it! I responded inside my head again.
“Um… Wear the brown one. It will look really good. It does a big contrast against your skin and matches your beautiful hair.”
“God, Alice! For crying out loud! Do you know what you bought by heart?” Why was I asking something I already knew the answer to?
I knew already that was exactly the case. Vampire memory! Ugh!
“Yup. Absolutely.”
“Predictable,” I muttered.
“Now get yourself up and go to the beach! Renee’s right! If you go soon, you might get to tan a little!”
“I don’t tan, Alice. It’s because of the part albino thing.”
Alice laughed as if she wanted to say ‘Yeah, we’ll see about that.’ “Everyone is sending their love!”
“Even Rosalie?” I asked shocked.
“Um… Rosalie isn’t here now. But everybody else says bye! I’ll call you later, Bella! I’m going to Charlie’s.”
“Oh, Alice, please cook him something, or he’ll set the kitchen on fire. I’m seriously wondering how he’s gonna make it. I’d been practically feeding him all this time.”
“Don’t worry about it, I will!” she giggled and hung up.
“Ready to go?” Renee asked and threw my favorite towel at me. I was startled from her throwing it, and took a few steps back almost falling, but I found support against the wall. “I can’t believe that you backed away from a towel!” she joked.
After Victoria, I am backing away from everything. But how could I ever tell her that? After all, she’d think I’m crazy, and I would officially need a shrink.
I picked up the towel that fell on the floor and followed her out of the house.
* * * * *
I missed the sea. I missed the sun. There were some sunny days in Forks… during the summer… But it wasn’t the same. This was a real, warm sun. Cloudless sky. Bright day. Yet, what I wanted was a cloudy day. A dark day, and me sitting at the school cafeteria waiting for the Cullen’s at our table. Waiting for babbly Alice to come in giggling with Edward, both holding their food trays without intending to eat anything.
“Wake up, Bella! Seriously you’re turning into a zombie! That blank stare is creepy and needs to go away!”
Yeah… Tell me about it!
“Come on, I want to change too!”
I was at the changing booth at the beach, but I was too embarrassed to get out. This bikini was exposing way too much skin. The scars from that night at the cliff were still red and angry looking even two months later. The stitches’ that left a trail on my leg was also there, making my skin at that spot a bit darker. And of course, the bite mark from James. I gently touched the skin there, a bit colder since he bit me. I used to joke about this, and tell Alice I was part vampire too. Well… my wrist was part vampire anyway.
Renee knocked on the door impatiently again, and then asked worriedly if I was crying.
“No, I’m alright,” I said and opened the door coming out with my towel covering most of my body.
Renee gave me a skeptical look biting her lip and shaking her head. “You’re never gonna tan like that.”
“I don’t want to tan. Haven’t you heard that exposure to sun can cause skin cancer?”
“Seriously? I had to literally drag you away from the beach up until last year, and now you won’t stand in the sun because of the possibility of cancer?” Her eyes widened and she got in the booth.
Lousy excuse, right?
“I’m… um… going to find a nice spot to put the stuff, okay?” I asked her hoping I’d be forgiven by the time she’d gotten out.
“Sure, sure.”
I moved awkwardly to an almost deserted part of the beach, with a nice shadow under a tree, and placed the towel and the bag I was carrying there, sat down and stretched my legs so that my toes were touched by the strong sunlight. I stayed for awhile little like that, allowing the sea breeze to tangle my hair. It sent shivers down my spine and its touch was so feather like, almost as if someone was stroking my face. Someone specific actually. Edward. I flinched and curled to a ball bringing my legs close to my chest as that night’s memories came rushing back. And then the cliff… The wind was strong. The waves were splashing violently on the rocks underneath me. The sea in front of me was calm. Too little, almost unseen, white foam formed on the shore, and I couldn’t help but widen my eyes. A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped up.
“Hey. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” a boy told me. He was about my age, tanned skin, dirty blond hair and hazel eyes. I bet Jessica would say that he is cute. He was actually good looking.
“It-it’s okay. I just was… lost in thought.”
“I see,” he said and gave me a sweet smile.
“I’m Jason.”
“Nice to meet you, Jason, I’m Bella.”
“The name fits you perfectly. A name meaning beautiful for a beautiful girl,” he commented.
I felt my cheeks getting warm and he sat on my towel, motioning to me to sit back down too. I was still tense from my thoughts, but I tried relaxing and sat down keeping a safe distance from Jason. It was nothing personal, but I was used to being cautious with… Edward.
“I won’t bite, you know. Unless you want me to, of course.” He gave me another warm smile and chuckled. He had a nice laugh and smile. Cute, but he was no Edward.
You won’t, but someone else would.
“I know.”
“Then?” He raised his eyebrows questioningly.
I shrugged.
“So where are you from? If you were living here, I bet I would have noticed such a beautiful girl. Did you come for the weekend?” His flirtatious tone made sure that the blush wouldn’t leave my face until I went home.
“Actually, I came to stay for a little while. My mother lives in Jacksonville, and I am moving in with her again.”
I explained.
“Staying with your mom, huh? That’s nice. Where have you been staying till now?”
“At my dad’s place, in Forks.” After his lost look that showed he had no idea where this was I continued, “Washington. It’s near Seattle.”
“Oh! Must be rainy there! No wonder your skin is so pale. Reminds me of vanilla flowers.”
I was sure my face would be bright pink for sure by now, and I nodded murmuring a shy thanks.
“I used to live with my mother before I moved in with my dad, but that was a while ago though. We lived in Phoenix, Arizona.”
“Yet, you are not tan at all. You’re more like snow white.” He chuckled and winked at me.
“Yeah, that is true.”
“Might be because you don’t step in the sun. I saw you with your towel over your shoulders crossing the beach until you reached the darkest spot… If you’d covered your head too, I’d say you’re a vampire or something!” He laughed at his joke, and I tried to smile but what appeared was probably a smirk.
If you only knew what you just said would have been true in the near future…
“Why were you hiding yourself? You have such a nice body. There are others who look like boats and have no problem moving around the beach, yet you do?” he continued trying to encourage me. “Come on, let’s go to the beach and take a dip in the warm water. It’ll be fun!”
“No!” I said quickly and looked down.
“What? Why?” he looked hurt. “Did I say something that offended you?”
“No, no, Jason, it’s just… I feel tired, that’s why I laid in the shade. I have sensitive skin, and I wanted to take a nap without getting a bad sunburn in return. Jet lagged still.”
“Oh… Um… Then…”
“Hey, Bella! Meeting people already, aren’t you? Good thing, you need to have someone to talk to, don’t need to stay alone all day long! Hi, I’m Renee, Bella’s mother,” Renee said, all in a rush as if she was out of breath from running across the beach. “Where have you been, girl, I’ve gone along the beach, up and down five times till I finally managed to find you!”
“This explains where Bella got her beauty from,” Jason said and winked at Renee. He was a really sweet guy with charming personality.
Renee gave me a look and I could instantly read it, ‘He’s hot! Good job, girl! Way to go!’ It was the way she reacted when she approved a boy… Wonder how she’d react if she saw Edward… Under normal circumstances. She didn’t say anything when I was in the hospital in Phoenix… Jason was good looking, but Edward took the term ‘good looking’ to whole new level! I sighed heavily at the thought of him. Once again, I wondered how long it would be until my memories of him would become cloudy, and I couldn’t remember the little details of his face that were still fresh inside my mind; haunting me.
“So, Bells, get up. Come on girl, what did we come here for? Let’s go to swim!” I knew Renee had a good read on me, but she was still fighting to make my mood happier.
“I think I’ll stay and sleep. I’m growing very sleepy all of a sudden,” I said avoiding her look.
“Oh…” her face fell just like Jason’s had a couple of minutes ago. “Just for a little bit? Please, Bella! Like, how often do you go swimming? I bet you haven’t touched water except when you’re in the bathroom since last fall!” She put her hands on her hips stubbornly, resembling my stance when I wanted something a lot and stood my ground. I had lost, again.
“Alright…” I groaned.
“Jason! Are you coming?” another boy asked. He was growing impatient and was standing so close to the water that the waves licked his bare feet. He was holding two surf boards; his own and the other was probably Jason’s.
“I’ll be there in a minute, geesh!” he shouted and turned to look at me. “Sorry, that’s my brother, Len. I need to go, he’s waiting for me.” He flashed me a last, charming smile and skipped towards the shore. “See you around?” he asked.
“See you around,” I agreed.
“He’s cuuuuute.” She nudged me and chuckled.
“So what?”
“So what?! The boy was obviously hitting on you!” she exclaimed and her eyes grew huge with shock.
“I am not ready to be in a relationship, mom,” I said seriously and meant it. She could not play the role of matchmaker here!
She gave me a sympathetic look and pulled me in a hug.
“Alright, I’m sorry sweetie. That was out of line, at least come in the water, it’s really warm, you’re gonna love it!” She squealed and pulled me on my feet.
I didn’t want to get in the sun. Obviously, I wouldn’t melt or set on fire… or sparkle for that matter. But in the sun, I felt exposed; all the terrible scars would show. Everything that the shadow of the tree seemed to cover well enough for my mother and Jason to ignore was what would be bright and shouting ‘Look at me!’ in the sunlight. Renee took my hand and led me to the beach, and I saw Jason waving at me from the water.
“Will you get in already?” Her eyes demanded that I’d get into the water and she splashed me.
At the feel of the cold water, awful memories surged back and I jumped back, ending up on the sand after one of my typical clumsy falls. I couldn’t do it. I just sat there, pulled my legs to my chest, and placed my chin on my knees looking at the water.
It’s just water! Get in!
I wanted to get in. I wanted to make myself get in. But all I could think about was falling and falling, and then the water hitting my back, feeling like I fell on a brick wall but instead sinking and sinking into the dark waters below. The current had been too strong. I felt panicked even at the view of sea water. I’d never see the sea the same way ever again.
She came closer, hands held in the water, ready to splash me some more.
“It’s cold, okay? I’m not in the mood to get in!” I came up with a quick excuse although I know I’d probably hurt Renee’s feelings.
“Alright, I didn’t know. You didn’t tell me!”
Renee, you can be such a five year old when you want to! I thought inside my head.
“I want to get home.” I got up and headed quickly for my stuff without expecting an answer.
She could stay and swim, but the house was close, I could walk.
“That didn’t go very well…” she muttered under her breath not realizing it was loud enough for me to hear.
Surely it didn’t!
* * * * *
That night, I had a really bad sleep. I was tossing and turning on my bed and stirred every five seconds trying to make myself comfortable. The bed wasn’t hard or anyhing, I just missed my sheets, my mattress and my pillows. And my Edward, a small voice reminded inside my head. Yes, I surely did miss him. I was so used to having his arms around me, even in the cold nights when we had to wrap me in blankets until I looked like a massive, living burrito so that I wouldn’t be bothered from his low body temperature. I missed his scent around my room and on all my stuff. It used to cling everywhere, on my clothes, on my books, even on my skin. Now it was fading, little by little. And with every little part that faded, a part of me faded too. I liked staying in his room. Everything was so… Edward-ish. The books, the CDs, the notebooks… Everything in there. And now, I am in a whole different State from where his room is! And what if Carlisle and Esme clean up his room and every trace that he existed disappears? I won’t be able to handle that… These thoughts were driving me insane, I got up many times, pacing around the room, trying to relax and fall into peaceful sleep but nothing would help. At some point, the memories were so strong that I started crying… I couldn’t help it! And I finally fell asleep, exhausted…
“Honey, it’s okay, you’re awake! It’s okay, relax!” Renee’s voice finally really woke me up.
I must have been screaming again… Who wouldn’t with my nightmare? I should have warned Renee, she shouldn’t lose her sleep over that… Charlie came to comfort me the first few times, actually most times… But then, I asked him to stop. He was waking up for no reason and tried to ease a pain that wouldn’t go away. I felt as if someone had punched a hole through my chest, and I curled into a ball on Renee’s lap trying to pull it together. With Renee it was different. I knew she couldn’t ignore me. Charlie showed understanding… from a distance. That was his way. I know what it’s like. I got his way of how to deal with things. I shouldn’t take advantage of Renee and keep her from her sleep, but I didn’t know what else to do. I stayed there and cried in her arms. It wouldn’t get any better. For a second, I opened my eyes, to see a ghostly figure of Edward looking at me with sad eyes.
How do you expect me to live through this?! I shouted inside my head.
There is someone else for you… he replied.
I sobbed harder and closed my eyes. I didn’t want someone else! I wanted him back! I wanted him to come back from the dead! He was actually dead when I met him too! Just bring him back, no matter how! I. Want. My. Edward. Back! It was killing me. I couldn’t take it much longer. I wonder how I managed to keep myself together – well, really I didn’t – for these past two months.
“Shhh… It will be alright, you’ll see…” Renee whispered in my ear before I fell asleep again.
I felt like a wreck in the morning. Almost like I was hung over, though, I had never really been hung over. I was still clutching onto Renee’s shirt from last night and she was asleep. I feel really bad for her now… Who knows how many times she got up for me! I quietly let go and got up to go the bathroom. I needed… a human moment. The replay of the phrase made me smile, it was as if I’d come back to the room and he would be back, sitting on my bed, absolutely still, like he used to do… The hole in my chest was feeling even bigger, and I hated the feel of it. But every time I thought about him, it was as if another part was torn from me.
As I got out of the bathroom, I almost bumped into Phil.
“Good morning, Bella!” he said and gave me a high five. “How’s my girl today?”
“Um… Good…” I murmured and went back to my room.
“Won’t you come down for breakfast?”
“Yes, I will… I need to make a phone call first.”
“Oh, okay! I have pancakes ready on the kitchen table. Since Renee is asleep, I could drop you at your school… We’ve got the application ready, you just will go and drop it by and you’re good to go.”
“School. Yeah, nice.”
It was rude to leave like that, but I really had to talk to Alice. I closed the door behind me and tried to breathe. It was as if I’d fall apart. I needed someone who knew everything. Renee knew that he had a bear accident that proved to be… fatal. She didn’t even know my part in this. Charlie made sure she wouldn’t come, and told her that he had it under control. He didn’t. Even I didn’t and that was becoming more and more evident... I turned to touch the phone, but I flinched when I saw the shimmering outline of a hand.
Careful. Renee might hear you. Pay attention to your words, Edward said.
I nodded, and he faded away letting me make my call. Alice was squealing excitedly about Jason and was asking how the beach was. Like she didn’t know already.
“Alice, nothing’s going on with me and Jason.”
“Jason thinks otherwise!” she sang. “Tell me about the beach. What happened?”
“I looked hideous. I stayed away from the sunny part of the beach,” I admitted ashamed, but she was the only one whom I could talk to.
“Geez, Bella! Are you serious? I can barely see them with my eyes!”
“If your eyes looked better you would have seen how horrible they look. All of them. And the bite mark! Someone’s gonna notice it’s not a glass cut finally! It is obvious!”
“Then an animal bit you. Darn it, Bella, don’t make everything difficult! Chill out, it’s gonna be fine at school, I saw it. It looks a bit like your school in Phoenix. And there’s a surprise for you there,” she chimed.
“Surprise? I’m scared already. Will you tell me about it? Please, you know how I am about surprises.” Like Victoria’s surprise for my birthday... I thought and my voice cracked. “Please?” I pleaded at her.
I could imagine her frowning and her mouth becoming a thin line searching for the right words and then she said, “It’s a totally normal, human surprise, Bella. I need to get to school, honey, catch up with you later! If there are any – and I mean any – problems, call me right away. Bye!”
“Alice! Wait, Alice!” Too late. The line was dead.
I wanted to crawl into the corner and cry, but I had to get ready for school. I didn’t even know what Phil knew about what happened. I suppose as much as Renee… I didn’t care enough to ask.
“Sit, sit, you need to eat, you didn’t touch your dinner last night. I don’t want you passing out in school or anything,” he said as I entered the kitchen and pushed a plate with warm pancakes in front of me on the table.
I gave him a small nod, and tried eating some of it. It tasted good, but I felt my stomach churning into a huge knot. I ate a few bites, little by little so that Phil’s feelings weren’t hurt and finally got up.
“I’m ready to go.”
“Aren’t you going to eat more? Didn’t you like the pancakes?”
“No, Phil, they were awesome. I just wasn’t very hungry, kinda nervous about the new school and all.” I tried coloring my voice with some emotion without much success.
The ride was short, and I was trying to memorize the route so that I could get back on my own. Alice was right. The school looked like the one in Phoenix. Big, gray with high cement walls around it. Not the kind of school that you could ditch classes easily. I took a deep breath, and prepared to open the door. Phil’s hand kept me in place though.
“Bella, I wanted to talk to you.”
Let the lecturing begin.
“You’re not yourself. Renee was sure that you’d be thrilled to come here. You love the heat. And the sun. And the sea. She was sad that you didn’t like the sea, she was sure it would manage to cheer you up.”
“I’m not much into anything that has to do with sea anymore. We had some bad storms in Forks and seeing the sea’s wild side wasn’t that thrilling.” I hoped my lie was convincing.
“That’s not the point, Bella. Charlie wanted you to come here to feel better. Smile a little. And if you need anything, just ask me. I’d like to help you if I can. You can talk to me.”
I wish I could. I can’t say much without putting you in danger. I almost put Charlie in danger and he didn’t even suspect a thing.
“Thanks, Phil. Really, I appreciate it.”
“And if you need a ride home after school, I can leave work for a little and come.”
“I think I’ll walk. But thanks anyway. Have a nice day,” I mumbled, and stumbling as usual, I got out of the car.
“Oh, and Bella.” I turned around to see Phil who lowered the window. “This is your application. Your mom has signed it. And… you won’t need that coat with this weather. You could leave it in the car you know.”
“Um… Yeah. Maybe I should.”
I slowly took off the coat, and let it fall on the front seat. I didn’t really want to let it go, it was the only thing I could have to remind me him. I clutched the strap of my backpack nervously, and walked towards the main building. Some students turned and stared, but I just lowered my head and moved forward. I was focused on a rusty brown-red splash on my shoes so hard that I didn’t realize I practically fell on someone.
“Um… sorry,” I murmured and started to walk away.
“Hey, wait! Bella!” a familiar voice shouted and reached for my hand. Jason.
“Oh, hi, Jason,” I said, still unable to disguise the pain in my voice.
“So you came. Good. I’m glad to see you here. Need any help to find your way around?”
“Actually, I need to take that somewhere… No idea where.” I showed him my application.
“Oh, that’s easy, wait I’ll get you there. We have ten minutes until the bell rings.”
“Okay.”
He put an arm behind my back, and I walked a little faster to avoid his touch. He tried keeping up with me, but when he realized I was doing it on purpose, he let go.
“You seem like you’ve forgotten what people dress like in sunny places, haven’t you?” he joked.
“I guess rainy weather really grew on me.” You can’t imagine how much.
“I saw yesterday, little vampire. What happened at the sea? You didn’t touch the water. Don’t you like it?” He raised an eyebrow and eyed me carefully.
“I do. Under any other circumstances, I’d go running into the water. I just saw an accident where I was, and I am a little suspicious of the sea.” I felt my eyes water and focused on the stain again.
“You’re talking about that small town, huh? What was the name again? Spoons?”
“Forks,” I corrected him amused. I shook my head. “Spoons! How did you come up with that?”
“Forks, Spoons, Knifes… They’re all kitchen accessories.” He shrugged and pushed a door on our left open.
“That’s how you see it?”
“More or less… What can some Forks do in the middle of nowhere?”
I rolled my eyes and felt like I was letting go for a moment. Only for a moment though.
“Miss Martins, this is the new student. She wanted to give you her application,” Jason explained and gave me a gentle push towards the desk where an old woman with red glasses and her blond hair pulled back in a tight bun was sitting.
I hesitantly approached the desk and laid the paper on it, pulling my hand away quickly. Maybe Forks was a small town where news spread quickly, but I was used to our secretary with the sweet smile and a look that thirsted for some interesting gossip. It was more… welcoming.
“So, you’re Isabella Swan?” She asked without raising her eyes from the form.
“Bella.”
She snorted, gave me my schedule and another paper, a map of the school facilities. It was too big and I was sure I’d get lost in it every time I’d need to change classes.
“Thank you.”
I moved away, and with Jason following me, I got out in the crowded corridor. The school was packed with students like Forks High would never be.
“Let me see your schedule,” he said and stretched over my shoulder to peek at the schedule. “Great! We have English together. And Trig. And–”
“P.E?” I asked terrified at the prospect. Thankfully, I had a doctor’s note that kept me from doing any sports for the following two months which would totally save me from humiliation for the time being.
“How did you know?” he asked smiling.
“I didn’t. It was a lucky guess.”
“Alright, it’s almost time for the first period I’ll take you to your class.”
I wanted to thank him, but I really couldn’t. First period was Biology. I felt like I wanted to start crying again.
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