8. RETURN
Author's Note: I gotta admit this is the longest chapter I've written for Lost Sun so far. I bet Wendy's praying there won't be one which will surpass it. *giggles* So, some Jason, some Alice, some Jasper, some Charlie and lots of words! *laughs* Word count really hates me right now. I just come back with more each time! Anyhoo... Let's see... Bella finally tries to fake her recent fear for water and get over with it once and for all... Did she make it? Well... *looks away* Go ahead and read. And... Oh, there's some interesting dinner at Charlie's with some good friends! Guess who's showing up! Finally!!!!!
Read and leave your thoughts!
Lots of love,
Nessie
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The flight back wasn’t easy for Renee. She had spent half of it in the toilet. Right now, Alice and Jasper were out for their night hunt and Renee was resting. I was in the bathroom in front of the mirror trying to figure out how I was going to tell Jason the news.
I took a deep breath and looked bravely at my reflection. “Jason, I have something to tell you. I’m returning to Forks.”
Ugh! No, no, no! That’s not right!
I paced back and forth for a while, and soon I realized that I was back in my room. I didn’t have a lot of packing to do. Most clothes I had brought with me were really light, summer clothes, nothing that I could wear at this time of year in Forks. The only pieces of clothing I took with me were two pairs of my favorite jeans, my coat – which I didn’t know why I brought here in the first place – and some shirts. After all, I expected Alice to have a full new set of clothes for me back in Forks… nightmare. I picked up my scrapbook, and after stroking the cover gently, I put it in my backpack along with my books and the CD player too.
“Bella?”
“Hey, mom. Thought you were sleeping.” She looked like she was. Her hair was messy and pointing in about twenty different directions, her eyes were half closed because of the light in the room and her cheek had lines from the pillow.
“I was…” Yawn. “But I got hungry. I’m going to make a sandwich. Do you want me to make you one?”
“Nah, thanks, I’m not hungry.”
“Where are Alice and Jasper? They weren’t in the living room,” she said as she ran her fingers through her hair trying to put an order it but failing horribly. I couldn’t help but smile at her.
“They went out for a while. To take a walk on the beach and get some fresh air.”
“Need any help packing? I want to help; I told you that I would…” She walked closer to the bed where I was standing
“Mom, it’s okay, I’m done anyway.”
We went in the kitchen and I made her sit while I fixed her two sandwiches. She was protesting all the way and wanted to do them on her own. I sat next to her and watched her practically inhale them. Phil hadn’t returned yet, his flight was coming tomorrow. I’d wait for him to come back. I wanted to say goodbye.
“So what’s left to do, pumpkin?” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the sound of ‘pumpkin’ and drank some water.
“Um… Let’s see. Somehow tell Jason that I’m leaving, book my ticket, call Charlie to tell him when I am coming back… and go swimming with you one last time.”
“Swimming? You haven’t been anywhere close to the sea since you first got here.”
“Time for a change then… When will I get to go swimming again? There is no way that I will get in the water in LaPush.” So, so, so no way! “It’s too cold,” I added to alleviate her confused look.
“Yeah, I know. Your dad and I tried swimming there. Actually, he wanted to show me how to fish but I looked at the sea and wanted to get in so bad! We were both sick for days after that! Billy and Sarah were there too… And Sue! It was so much fun!”
“Wait, Sarah who?” I tried hard to find who she was but the memories were too hazy.
“Billy’s wife. She was such a nice person… We used to hang out a lot, even though she was older. Billy, Harry and Charlie were good friends all along and since Harry was dating Sue; Billy was with Sarah, we were all hanging out all the time.” She smiled at the memory. “But only Charlie and I were stupid enough to get in the ice cold water.”
I chuckled. “Yes, you probably should have steered clear of the water.”
“Trust me, my mom was dead worried about me, I had never been sick for so long in my life!” she said between ferociously biting into her sandwich.
She was so careless like always… I can’t believe that she’s lived her life like this and is still here… She’s happy. She always found a way to become happy.
You should find a way too, Edward’s ghostly figure murmured before fading into the far wall of the kitchen.
I didn’t cringe this time, just smiled. Maybe I could become happy again… someday. Maybe I’d find some way to do it, somehow.
“So, how are you going to break the news to Jason?”
Her question surprised me. I looked up at her and suddenly noticed that I’d been staring at my flip flops and the checked tiles under them for the last five minutes.
“I’m still working on that…” I looked up at her. She had finished her sandwiches and was looking at me with these big blue curious eyes. “I think I need help,” I admitted and finally sat down opposite her.
“Boys like it when you’re direct. Just say it. He will appreciate it if you’re honest. And he seems to be the understanding kind of guy. No need to apologize a hundred times. Actually, baby, there’s no need to do that for any guy. So, just be honest and say clearly that you’re leaving. He’s your friend, he will get it.”
Renee sounded so confident while explaining how I should handle it that I could only feel genuine awe for her. Her confidence was almost contagious. For the night, I stopped worrying, placed my suitcase on the floor and slept quietly without dreaming.
* * * * *
“Hi, Bella.” Jason was grinning from ear to ear and after hesitating pulled me into a friendly hug. “I missed you.”
I felt awkward as he let go of me, but tried to smile.
“Your call was a surprise, you know. As far as I remember, I’m always the one to call.” He raised his eyebrows, asking for an answer to his observation.
“Yeah, that is because I have something very important to tell you.” Let’s get this done now. Be confident, don’t do much pleading, smile and you’ll be fine. That was a summed up version of what Renee had said last night.
“Cool. So what is so important that you changed your usual shyness to call me?”
“It’s complicated.” Uh huh, Bella, wrong turn! Keep it clear and straight! Keep it honest! the voice inside my head interrupted. “Well. Not really that complicated. But I think that we should go sit somewhere and have a talk.” Aren’t you making it a bit more dramatic than you should? I mentally rolled my eyes and begged myself to make the voice go and leave me alone to do the explaining.
“Then let’s go sit. What about going to that café next to the beach?”
I shrugged and we headed towards there. The silence while we walked was even more awkward, but I didn’t want to tell him anything just yet.
“So how was your vacation?” I struggled to make the subject go from me to him.
“I didn’t go anywhere. I was here, surfing, hanging out with family… Your vacation in New York must have been way more fascinating than my time in Jacksonville. Did you like ‘The Concrete Jungle’?”
I sighed. “You make it seem like a big deal. It was just a vacation.”
“Just a vacation? You were in New York! Most people are dying to go there!”
“I liked the weather.” I had no idea what else to say about it. It was nice, but that was it!
“It was cloudy. And snowy,” he interrupted.
“Actually, it was. I missed that kind of weather.” I still couldn’t believe how I could say that. I was the one who said that I hate the rain, the snow and anything cold or wet. Where did thisBella go? Was I really finally making a change and stepping forward? Or just clinging harder onto my life in Forks?
We went inside the café and sat at a table near the window and ordered our coffees. I could see all the way down to the beach from there. It was chilly, but warmer than the usual Forks day. Much warmer.
“What was this news that you wanted to tell me about?” Jason asked me while looking at me carefully, trying to guess my thoughts.
Great. Right back to the subject I am trying to avoid.
“I’m leaving.” Straight, direct, honest. Seriously, I hope Renee’s advise works.
“Wait. What do you mean leaving?” He looked at me with serious eyes as if he was trying to look inside my head.
Sorry, Jason, no one can see inside my head… Not even the one who could see inside everyone’s head.
“I think I told you when we met that I was in Jacksonville for a ‘trial period’. Now it’s over and I’m going back to Forks.”
I didn’t expect it, but he was angry. I could see it in his eyes. The way he avoided looking me straight in the eyes, right into mine like he usually did, the way he clutched his fists, the way he tapped his shoe on the floor…
“I didn’t mean to piss you off,” I said quickly.
“No, it’s alright; it’s your life after all.” He shook his head. “What can I do about it? After all, everyone at school gave you a hard time here, it’s normal that you want to go.”
“Your friends were okay,” I corrected him.
“That was in front of me. I’ve seen how they are. It’s just pathetic, they’re so easily influenced. I hate how they pretend to be nice when they really aren’t.” I didn’t know what he was so angry at. He didn’t sound angry about me leaving, mostly about his friends. Like he was apologizing for them now? Regretting not to have fixed it hoping that I would stay?
“Tell them. There is no friendship if there is no trust.” He remained silent for a few seconds staring into his coffee. “And if that’s what you’re thinking, it’s not your fault that I am going. I would go anyway. I was just waiting for my father to ask me to move back in.”
“Wait! Your father sent you away?”
I shook my head and smiled. “Sort of… I was depressed and he was freaked. He hoped that a change of environment would help me snap out of it. Since it didn’t, I gained the right to come back. Plus, I bet he missed my cooking,” I added proudly.
“You never told me what this was about…” He still avoided my gaze.
“Told you what was about what?”
“About the depression. Why are you like this? I know it’s none of that nonsense that is told around the school. The drugs, drinking and all the other stupid rumors that are spread about you.”
“I am glad that you’re not one of those who believe it. No, it really has nothing to do with any of those things. Not even close…” Except if his intoxicating presence counts – counted – like a drug…
“Then?” For the first time, I noticed where his eyes were staring. At the bite mark James gave me last spring. He hesitantly stretched his hand towards my wrist. “Where did you get that?” he asked, his brows coming together in curiosity.
I flinched away and covered the mark with my other hand. “Fell down the stairs and went through a window… The glass got in…”
“Seriously now, Bella, I won’t judge you, you can tell me!”
“I wasn’t joking. I have a bad accident history.” I never was a good liar, and again, I didn’t seem able to convince him with my lie.
“I know you do; every day you trip somewhere in school. On the stairs, stumble in the cafeteria, drop things after classes… These things don’t go without notice after a while.” He chuckled.
“Guess that no matter how much I try, I’ll never stop being ‘Clumsy Bella’…”
“Maybe not. But it’s not bad. You’re great this way.” I thought he was joking, but the way he said it proved he was dead serious.
“Thanks,” I said and blushed violet, suddenly feeling really self-conscious.
“You were going to explain about the depression,” he reminded me.
Actually, I wasn’t; you just wanted me to…
“I am not sure if I want to talk about it…” Now it was my turn to avoid his persistent gaze.
“Alright, I don’t have the right to pressure you.” He nodded and drank some of his coffee.
“Thanks, I really appreciate that.” I sighed and stared down at my hands. James’s bite mark stood out on my skin, it seemed paler and the pink scar of his teeth marks were still there. The images of that day at the ballet studio flashed in front of my eyes, just for a second, and then they were gone. I was back at the café with Jason, who was sitting right across me silently, probably feeling guilty about the way his friends had acted towards me.
“So, when exactly are you leaving?” he asked, sighing heavily.
“This afternoon. I have some last things to do, and then I will go to the airport, book a ticket and get on that plane…”
“Are you in a hurry then?”
I shook my head. “No, I… Yeah, sort of. I mean, I’ve waited for this, since I set foot in Jacksonville. I miss Forks.”
“I know, I’ve–”
“Please let me finish.” He smiled and nodded. “I miss my friends, I miss the weather, and I miss my dad… Even if it reminds me of things… I have to remember, you know? There are things that you want to remember, even when they aren’t your best memories. I’ve always been with my mom. I liked being with her, I liked the way we always were somewhere sunny and warm, but I just found my dad. I don’t really want to let go of him yet. And Alice. Her whole family is really important to me…” I trailed off, not wanting to tell him more about the Cullens.
“I understand. You don’t have to explain everything to me.”
“I know. I just don’t want to make you feel guilty or anything because of my leaving, okay? This is why I wanted to tell you in person that I am leaving and didn’t just call or text you.”
“Bella, you couldn’t have texted me even if you wanted, you don’t have a cell phone,” he observed.
I chuckled and shook my head. “Indeed, I don’t but that’s not the point. You’re my friend. I don’t want you to think that I don’t count you as an important person to me because I want to go back home.”
“Home,” he repeated.
“Yes. So, I have Alice waiting for me to get home and pack the last stuff and get to the beach with my mom and say goodbye to my stepdad, which means that I may have to go…”
“Sure. I’ll pay and–” He stood up, slipping his hand in his pocket, looking for some money. I sighed and placed a hand over his.
“Please,” I said, smiling. That’s my last coffee in Jacksonville; I think I owe you a coffee at least.” I left the money on the table and walked out of the café with Jason right behind me.
“Bella?”
“Yeah?” I asked, turning around. Wish I didn’t have to do the whole goodbye thing in the first place. I hate this part!
“Can I have a goodbye hug at least?” he pleaded, stretching his arms. I nodded and smiled again, hugging him. “You know that I liked you all along, right?”
“Yes, it was quite obvious,” I said, trying to hide a smirk.
“You never liked me back, did you?”
I ran a hand through my hair nervously, trying to untangle it. “Well, it’s not exactly that… I liked you… as a friend… Trust me; you wouldn’t want to get involved with me in any other way.”
“But–”
“Honestly, you wouldn’t,” I whispered in his ear, my breath hitched as I felt him shiver against my body.
He let go of me and I stumbled back awkwardly. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking at me. “I always thought I’d have the time to figure out what was wrong with you. Maybe try and fix you or at the very least, make it better? Apparently, I was pretty much delusional. It’s okay, I’ll live through it.”
I playfully punched his chest. “Sure you will.”
He grinned at me. “But I’ll miss you.”
My breath hitched in my throat again, and I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. I was all of a sudden replaying inside my head everything I had learned in biology about what causes blushing. The blood vessels in your face dilate and your heartbeat quickens, causing your skin to turn a bright shade of red…
Oh my god, Bella, really, get a grip!
Until now, I hadn’t realized how close his face was to mine. I trembled and nervously smiled at him. “I… I’ll miss you too,” I finally said.
“You’re blushing.”
Yeah, obviously!
“Um… am I?”
“Yeah. You’re all pink.”
“Well, I blush easily…”
“Bye, Bella.” Before I realized it he kissed my cheek and turned away. “Have a nice trip!”
I raised a hand, half waving, although he had already turned away. Well, I guess I’m done here. Next thing on my list… swimming. I shuddered at the thought as I ran towards the house.
* * * * *
“Alice, Jasper, last chance; are you sure you don’t want to join us at the beach?” Renee asked, fixing the strap of her bikini top.
“Yes, we’ve got some last minute packing to do after all,” Jasper said kindly. Although I knew the real reason was that the sun was up and shining brightly, and the beach was packed with people who could see them sparkling. Not to mention Renee, who knew nothing about vampires.
“Okay. As you wish, guys… Although, I think you’re going to miss a whole lot of fun!” She laughed and pulled me along towards the beach.
The weather had gotten back to typical warm Florida weather and the day was really hot, as if it was summer. It was as if the winter season had never shown up here. But why was I surprised? I had been living in Arizona, a place as warm as this for almost my whole life!
“Renee, are you feeling alright? You aren’t nauseous, are you?” I asked worried. She seemed alright this morning, but I had no idea what I had missed while I was with Jason.
“Sure, honey, I’m alright, I can take care of myself. I’m not a five-year old!” She frowned, kicked her flip-flops and tossed her towel on the sand as soon as we reached the beach.
“Hmmm, I’m still worried. If you want me to stay here, you can just say it. I haven’t booked a ticket or anything yet…”
“Bella, I told you that you can go back to Forks. I have Phil and you can come visit as often as you want. Now stop worrying and let’s get in the water! It looks great!”
I didn’t get another chance to talk because she pulled me along until the foam that was reaching the shore was licking the tips of my toes. For a second, I started feeling terrified, as if the events of that night would start replaying themselves again in front of me… but then it just vanished.
‘Get in,’ Edward’s ghostly figure commanded, and drawing a deep breath, I took a few steps in the water until it was reaching just below my knees.
“Come on, Bella, you move like my grandma! Get in! The water feels wonderful!” Renee teased me, moving her hand, showing me that I should come closer. She didn’t make the mistake of splashing water at me again though.
“Okay, okay, coming!” I said and pushing away any ghosts of fears and Edward, I fell in the water.
The water surrounded me and for the first time in so many months, I wasn’t afraid. It felt like home. Just like I felt when swimming before I went to Forks, before I met the Cullen’s, before Victoria threw me from the cliff… It was warm; nothing like the angry ice-cold sea I had faced that night. There were no cliffs around the beach, just a flat straight line of golden sand, extending as far as the eye could see.
I glanced at my feet for a second, in the water, half dug in the sand. I could see a small school of striped fish – like the ones Renee had in the aquarium in her living room – swimming quickly away. I smiled and threw my head in the water.
I opened my eyes in the water, holding my breath. They stung from the salt for a few seconds, but after several blinks it stopped bothering me as they adjusted. I made out Renee’s body with her favorite aqua blue bikini several feet away, her legs floating in the water, a few inches from the sea’s sand-covered bottom.
I swam towards her and pulled her feet down, tickling her toes. She yelped and giggled as I my head broke to the surface.
“I didn’t see you coming!” she said, still laughing.
I lifted my hand and opened it. I had caught a small brown shell. The scene was so graphic. It reminded me of the time when I was little and scanned the beach with Renee collecting shells until our feet couldn’t hold us anymore. Then we took them home and placed them on the window sill over the sink in the kitchen and in glass vases all around the house.
“Awww, Bella, that’s beautiful.”
“I know, right? We haven’t collected shells for ages!”
She grinned and dove in the water. I could see bubbles rising to the surface as she searched the bottom for more shells. She threw her head out finally, jerking back; the move caused her hair to fall back as well.
“Here are some more,” she said, placing more shells in my hand.
“I’m going to leave them with our stuff,” I said and swam to the shore and hurriedly walked to where our towels were and wrapped them in my shirt. Then, I threw myself in the water again and it was as if I had never walked out of it.
* * * * *
When we went back, we were both soaked to the bone and water drops were splashing on the ground where we stood. The sun had begun going down, the sky had an orange-pink hue. It was beautiful.
Alice opened the door for us and we quickly stepped in; Renee bolted for the bathroom. I smiled at Alice and went to my room to change. She had left a change of clothes for me on the bed; her choice of course. Ignoring the red shirt on my bed, I stripped off my bikini and wrapped myself in a towel, waiting for my turn to take a shower. Sand was scratching my toes and the sea salt was biting my skin, making me itchy. My hair stuck out in different directions. I really needed a human moment.
When I finally felt clean and dry, I slipped into a simple pair of jeans and a dark green shirt, pretending not to acknowledge Alice’s choice of a V-neck shirt and tight skinny jeans. My friend didn’t look surprised my decision though. Of course not. It’s really hard to fool a psychic.
“I had to try,” she said as I sat opposite her and Jasper on the couch. Jasper had wrapped his arm around her and I could felt slightly euphoric since I approached them. Jasper must be working his magic to ease my mood before leaving. Gotta love that Southern Gentleman in him; always trying to make you happy in every situation.
I gave them a sheepish smile and remained silent for a while, taking in the room for the last time, at least for a while. In two hours, I’d be flying back to Forks. The fish were swimming in their tank as usual and the carpet had the same beige color; yet it all seemed prettier today. I wanted to hold on to that picture, to keep it in my memory… Who knew when I’d come here again? Probably sooner than I thought since my sibling was on its way and after finishing with school, there were some fairly good chances that I would go to a college around here… But still; So much could change in the meantime. I knew all too well how your life could change in the blink of an eye.
I stood up and headed to the table by the front door, where we had left all the shells we had picked up earlier. I grabbed a handful and let it drop from my hand into the aquarium. I stood there observing the fish that swiftly swam away from the sinking shells, scared of the foreign objects.
The sound of keys in the door made me turn and Phil walked in. He was in his baseball outfit; he was just returning from practice.
“Hey, Bella. Ready to go? We should head for the airport soon,” he said with a grim smile.
I nodded and went to get my suitcase. All of Alice and Jasper’s luggage was in the living room already. Jasper stood up, saying that he wanted to help and carried his stuff to the car. Alice took my suitcase from me, and I couldn’t help but wonder how such a tiny girl like Alice could lift it more easily that I could, then I remembered… vampire. I chuckled to myself and rolled my eyes.
“Mom!” I called and Renee was there in a beautiful summer dress.
“Oh, we have to go already?” she asked smiling. “Would it be bad if I said I don’t want to let you go yet, huh?” Before I could reply, she pulled me in a very tight hug. “I’ll miss you, baby.”
“Mom, I’m not gone yet,” I reminded her and hugged her back. “I’ll miss you too.”
“C’mon, you will have all the time in the world to say goodbye girls, we need to get to the airport,” Phil said and led us to the car.
The ride appeared to be a little uncomfortable to Jasper who obviously and painfully seemed to be holding his breath in the same creepy way Edward did when he believed he couldn’t restrain himself around me. I felt sorry for him but couldn’t do much other than rolling down the window and hoping that the fresh air would help a bit.
Thankfully, the airport wasn’t too far. We got our luggage past the checkout and security, and the time for the real goodbyes had come.
“I will call you as soon as I get home,” I promised mom.
She hugged me again and as she pulled away, I saw tears running down her cheeks. Oh God, what the hell am I doing? I felt so bad for breaking Renee’s heart… again.
“Mom… I still can stay. Just say the word.” I looked straight in her eyes as she ran the back of her hand across her face wiping the tears away.
Without a warning, she started laughing. “No, silly. I’ll be fine. It’s those stupid pregnancy hormones. I’ll get over it, trust me.” She chuckled lightly and I felt a faint smile breaking across my own face.
“So, you’re sure?” I asked hesitantly.
“Absolutely. Give Charlie my love.”
“I’ll steal a weekend to visit soon,” I said.
I lifted my head as the announcement for the passengers of my plane to go to the gate echoed from the speakers and exchanged a look with Alice and Jasper.
“We should get going…”
Renee gave me a light push in the back and said, “Hurry then! Love you!”
“Love you too,” I replied and started walking away.
I didn’t get that far before Renee caught up with us. “Forgot your tickets. You’re not getting very far without them.” She beamed at me and winked.
“Thanks again.”
* * * * *
Jasper stood up for the fifth time since the plane took off and closed himself in the toilet.
“What’s up with him?” I asked Alice who was quickly turning the pages of a fashion magazine.
“He’s alright… Just… He’s having a hard time with crowded spaces like this. Lots of smells; if you know what I mean.”
I frowned and nodded in understanding while I put my headphones on my ears again. The familiar melody surrounded me, making the rest of the world uninteresting to me. It was just me and the memories… of him.
His ghostly figure was shimmering in and out of view in the empty seat next to me. I couldn’t help but widen my eyes in surprise, wondering if anyone caught me staring at a non-existent ghost and thought I was crazy, which I probably was as well.
Hi, I thought and tried not to smile.
He gave me one of those sweet crooked smiles I loved so much and ran a hand through his, as usual, messy semi-transparent bronze hair. Are you alright?
I miss you, I thought and lowered the volume in the CD player, hoping I’d hear him more clearly. I missed the way his cold fingers lifted my chin making me look at him. And seeing him again was making me feel more lonely and empty than ever.
I’ll be here. But…
Always, a but. I sighed, not intending to let him hear that, even though he was just a figment of my imagination.
Will you try and be strong back in Forks? You have such a wonderful life awaiting you. And it’s all yours. So live it.
I frowned and quickly remembered that I was more like having a conversation with my conscience than another real person. I should try and look more composed.
Will you promise me? he asked, almost demanding my attention.
I’ll try. But no promises.
He gave me a half smile, shrugged and then he was gone, as if he never was there. This was, as a matter of fact, pretty much true. I turned the volume up again and remained silent, playing with my fingers and observing the fabric of my jeans as Jasper came back and sat next to Alice.
* * * * *
I felt a cool hand shaking me softly and I opened my eyes lazily. “Get up, sleepy head, we’re here.” I slowly unwrapped the airplane blanket from me and left it in a small heap on the back of my seat. Alice was sitting on the seat next to me while most of the passengers began getting off the plane. It was a small airport and turning my head towards the window, I could see the landing runway of the Port Angeles’s Airport.
There was a thin layer of haze near the ground and behind it I spotted the airport’s parking lot that was stretching out in a great distance. I squinted and a car stood out. Charlie’s cruiser.
I pushed myself up in the seat and Alice pulled me to my feet. I felt a little woozy and sore from sleeping in the airplane seat, so I stretched myself with not much success.
“Come on, Charlie’s getting anxious, he can’t wait to see you.” She was bouncing on her heels impatiently. I didn’t make the mistake of asking her how she knew. It was Alice we were talking about.
Everyone who got off the plane looked around briefly and in a matter of seconds headed where they should; To their loved ones who were waiting for them by the airport’s building. There was quite a crowd on the runway; it appeared that one of the passengers had a whole welcome-home escort waiting for her. I remembered my own goal; find Charlie. I finally spotted him, standing back, hands in his pockets, foot tapping anxiously on the asphalt. A warm feeling suddenly rushed over me and I never felt like I had missed someone this much before.
I rushed through the crowd, trying but not quite managing not to bump into anyone and threw my arms around my dad. He was taken aback at first, but he wrapped his arms around me eventually and gave me a squeeze.
“Hey, Bells.”
I felt my eyes watering, but blinked several times, making sure it wouldn’t show when I let go of him. It would be best if he didn’t see me cry just yet. From the corner of my eye, I caught Alice and Jasper approaching us as well.
I let go of Charlie and he smiled at Alice and Jasper and waved. I remained silent, so he talked to them before the silence became too awkward. “Need a ride home, kids?”
Kids… What an irony… Alice was about a hundred years old and Jasper… Well, I didn’t even know how old Jasper was.
“No, Charlie, thanks. We’re good. Carlisle’s coming to pick us up,” Alice said kindly, smiling. I observed Jasper as he nervously looked at the sky. It was covered with thick clouds, but by the look in Jasper’s face, something was probably wrong. Was it going to turn sunny sometime soon?
“Shall we move, it’s getting cold out here,” Jasper said ultimately.
Alice and Charlie nodded and Charlie said, “Yes, that’s true. And Bella, you’re wearing no jacket. You’re going to catch a cold.”
“Okay,” I agreed and started moving towards the inside of the airport along with my dad and friends.
Carlisle and Esme showed up after about ten minutes, hugging Alice, Jasper and me, asking me how I felt and greeting Charlie kindly. I didn’t know what to answer to their question honestly. I was feeling alright. For now. The excitement of coming back home was too overwhelming and was keeping me occupied, not thinking about the awful memories of my last few months in Forks.
“We should get going,” Charlie said. “You seem tired, Bells.”
“I’m fine, dad. It’s all good,” I assured him as we walked to the parking lot and the Cullen’s headed to Carlisle’s car as we went to Charlie’s cruiser.
During the ride home, Charlie was asking me how it had been in Jacksonville, about the weather, if I had liked the sea, how Renee was doing… little talk to avoid the uncomfortable bubble of silence that I created around me all the time lately.
“Everyone’s good. Renee’s cheery as always. Phil is very nice to her. She’s honestly happy.” Charlie nodded and for a second I wondered if the subject made him uncomfortable and after taking a breath, I stopped.
“Good, that’s good…” he said absentmindedly.
The car was making a weird clicking sound and I kept wondering what it was. I ended up with the conclusion something was wrong with the car. Not that I was any car mechanic mastermind, but I could figure that much. “Maybe you should check the cruiser, dad. The sound it’s making doesn’t sound good.”
“Hmmm, you’re right, Bells. I’ll ask Jacob to check it. The kid is a master when it comes to fixing cars.”
“Billy’s son?” I asked. I remembered talking to him every once in a while. We had a long chat about Quileute legends last year when I had gone down to First Beach with some others from school. And then again, he had showed up at prom, giving me a message from his dad to stay away from the Cullen’s. Billy Black was an odd man, but he was nice nonetheless. He was my dad’s best friend and honestly, if he, Billy and Harry didn’t go fishing on weekends, I bet his fridge wouldn’t even have food. I chuckled at the thought.
“Yes. While you were gone, the kid took care of… Never mind, you’ll see for yourself.” He stopped talking and turned the radio on, covering the silence with a country song. He had sparked my curiosity now. What did Jacob do while I was away…? No matter how hard I thought about it, I didn’t know what it could be. So, I smiled and waited to get home.
Everything was so quiet, the street, the forest… There was no wind blowing and the squirrels were also noiseless, not chewing nuts and bouncing from limb to limb like usual. It felt sort of depressing. I averted my gaze from the cold forest and looked at the house. Charlie pulled in the driveway and I got out of the car quickly, unable to believe what my eyes were seeing. My truck was there, parked on the grass just next to the house. The Cullen’s had kept it in their garage since that night; I didn’t want to look at it and I couldn’t drive it anyway. It was completely wrecked after… the accident. The front window had been shattered into a thousand pieces and there were deep dents and scratches all over it. This couldn’t be the same truck. No way. It was a similar 1953 Chevy pickup truck in the same red color, but I still couldn’t believe it. The front window looked perfectly new and the color fresh, as if it was painted just the other day. I slowly walked towards it and gently ran a hand over the hood. On the door, I spotted a scratch that looked extremely similar to one my truck used to have right under the rearview mirror. But how…?
“Like it, Bells?” Charlie asked hesitantly.
When I turned around to look at him, he was smiling nervously. “Yeah! Very much! Thanks, Charlie!”
“No, that’s not me. It’s all Jacob’s work. You should thank him.”
My eyes widened in surprise, and I nodded as I thought what Charlie had said in the car. “That’s so nice of him… And he did an awesome job. I almost didn’t recognize it,” I admitted.
“Glad to hear that,” I heard a male voice saying. I saw Jacob standing on the porch, arms crossed over his chest, smiling sweetly. His excited grin stretched wide across his face, the bright teeth standing in vivid contrast to the deep russet color of his skin. I'd never seen his hair out of its usual ponytail before. It fell like black satin curtains on either side of his broad face. “It took a while, but it turned out better than I expected. It’s decent actually, huh?”
“Absolutely. It couldn’t be better,” I agreed. I felt an unfamiliar surge of enthusiasm at his smile. I realized that I was pleased to see him. This knowledge surprised me. I smiled back, and something clicked silently into place, like two corresponding puzzle pieces. I'd forgotten how much I really liked Jacob Black.
“I fixed the engine a little; it may even run a little faster. But don’t expect anything crazy, only a miracle could make it run for real.” While he was talking, I was observing him. He had changed quite a bit since the last time I had seen him. Jacob had grown into some of his potential in the last few months. He'd passed that point where the soft muscles of childhood hardened into the solid, lanky build of a teenager; the tendons and veins had become prominent under the red-brown skin of his arms, his hands. His face was still sweet like I remembered it, though it had hardened, too – the planes of his cheekbones sharper, his jaw squared off, all childish roundness gone.
I chuckled and nodded. “I don’t mind slow. It sounds safer.”
Charlie patted me on the back and said he was going inside. “You two should get inside soon too, Sue’s food’s going to get cold,” he warned.
“Sure, dad, we’ll come in a second,” I assured him.
He closed the door and it was only Jacob and me outside. The air was chilly, so I opened the back door of the cruiser to get my coat. “Let me help you,” Jacob said as I tried to pull out my suitcase and backpack.
“Thanks.” I pushed some hair from my face. “You’ve buffed up since the last time I saw you. You know, steroids aren’t good for you.”
He chuckled and placed my stuff on the driveway. “Do you really think I’m taking drugs, Bells?”
“If you’re still the kiddo I met last year, just on stilts this time, then no.”
“Stilts?” He raised an eyebrow and seemed like he was trying to hide a smirk. “Where did that come from?!”
I wrapped my arms around me, rubbing them, trying to protect myself from the cold. I looked up at him and said, “You got taller too.”
“Six five,” he said proudly. He cocked his head to the side and looked at me. “I’d really like to know what could be going on inside your head, Isabella.”
“And you’re not the first who wondered that…” I muttered.
“What?” he asked. I wondered if he had heard me.
“Um, I said that nobody calls me that. Isabella. Just… don’t go there.” I meant to make myself sound threatening, as much I could threaten Jacob Black who was twice my size, but it sounded more like joking. I actually laughed.
He grinned mischievously. “Oh, I know. You seem to be freezing, shall we go inside?”
“Totally. I had forgotten what winter in Forks was like.” He nodded and placed a hand over the small of my back leading me to the door. “Um… Jacob?”
“Yeah?” he asked and I felt his hand withdrawing. It felt good against my back though, I could feel the warmth radiating from his skin.
“Did Charlie say ‘Sue’s food is going to get cold’ before?”
He scratched his head nervously. “Yes, he had invited me and my dad and Harry with his wife and children for dinner.”
“… But Sue cooked it?” I smirked. For a second, the thought of Charlie cooking a full meal for his best friends with their families crossed my mind. But then again… Nooo…
“You know Charlie. He and the kitchen… yeah, don’t get along. Last time he tried to make popcorn at our place, the microwave exploded.”
* * * * *
We entered the living room - that was where everyone was eating, on the couches, since the kitchen was too small for this entire crowd - just when they were serving. I hurried to help Sue as she was bringing everything from the kitchen and Jacob left my suitcase by the stairs and came to sit on the only empty couch. When we had brought everything, he patted the seat next to him for me to sit.
“So, Bella, you must know Billy and Harry, this is Harry’s wife, Sue…” He motioned to the woman I had already figured was Sue; she was tan and had straight black hair and a sweet round face. I vaguely remembered her from a few summers way back that I had spent with Charlie in Forks… He used to take me to the Reservation and I hung out with his friends’ children a little. “… and these are their children, Leah and Seth.” The boy waved at me excitedly and the girl gave me a silent, almost indifferent nod of acknowledgement. They both had jet black hair and the same, russet colored skin, a mixture of their parents’. Leah looked like her mother, although her face wasn’t as round and her characteristics were defined more sharply.She was beautiful in an exotic way–perfect copper skin, glistening black hair, eyelashes like feather dusters. Seth was really young, about thirteen or fourteen if I had to guess and was about half a head shorter than his sister. His eyes were slightly uplifted in the corners, like his dad’s, but he was really thin compared to his parents. I remembered Leah showing me around the Rez once, and Seth following us, trying to get my and his sister’s attention. Leah tended to avoid him when he was little and I wondered how much something like this could have changed.
I smiled at them. “It’s nice to see you all again,” I said.
“It’s good to have you back, Bella,” Billy said and leaned forward in his wheelchair to reach the salad.
“It feels good to be back.” I fell silent after saying that, added some fries and fish to my plate and kept myself busy with eating.
The men talked about the game, and Harry and Charlie made fishing plans. Sue teased her husband about his cholesterol and tried, unsuccessfully, to shame him into eating something green and leafy. Jacob talked mostly to me and Seth, who interrupted eagerly whenever Jacob seemed in danger of forgetting him. Charlie watched me, trying to be inconspicuous about it, with pleased but cautious eyes.
It was loud and sometimes confusing as everyone talked over everyone else, and the laughter from one joke interrupted the telling of another. I didn't have to speak often, but I smiled a lot, and only because I felt like it.
I liked the gathering. Actually, I was afraid that as soon as I’d get home, I’d plant myself on the sofa, sitting there quietly next to Charlie, pretending I watched the game on the TV or shut myself in my bedroom, listening to Edward’s CD until my CD-player’s batteries went dead. This was an unexpected and very, very pleasant turn for my night.
Since I had sat down, I’d been struggling to figure out what was different about the room. There was something that wasn’t there when I left, and I just couldn’t find it! Warmth was surging to me from my left, the other site than the one where Jacob was sitting, and a cracking sound was constantly filling the room in the rare seconds of silence. When I finally realized what it was, my eyes widened in surprise. How could I not have noticed the fireplace earlier?!
“Charlie?” I asked and he turned his head to look at me. “Was the fireplace always there?” I couldn’t recall seeing it lit again in my childhood memories, which could make sense since I spent only summers here, but last year I had never seen it before.
“Yeah, Bells, it was. I never used it before, but Harry with Seth’s help, helped me finally fix it up. I never lit it because all the smoke came back in instead of going out of the chimney.”
Billy chuckled and eyed my dad carefully.
“Oh,” was all I said.
“Seth!” Sue scolded. “Don’t you eat anymore; you haven’t left anything for the rest of us!”
“Mom! I’m still growing up, I need double meals!” Seth joked, taking another bite and grinning.
“Too full,” Leah muttered abruptly and turned her attention back to her cell phone that vibrated again.
Seth ignored her and continued. “Plus, everyone has finished.”
“Bella’s still eating,” Sue objected.
I shook my head. “No, I’m full. Go ahead, Seth, I’m done too,” I assured them.
Seth grinned triumphantly and put some more fries on his plate. Jacob snickered and looked down at his feet trying to hide if from Sue’s strict look as she sighed and shook her head.
I was surprised that I didn’t think about Edward at all that night. All those familiar faces kept me occupied all the while; the easy going conversation, the jokes, and the relaxing atmosphere by the fireplace. It didn’t wake any unwanted memories.
“I have to call Renee!” I thought abruptly. Then I looked at the clock over the kitchen door. It was eleven thirty.
“You can call her tomorrow. Or text her,” Charlie said.
Text Renee? Seriously? She wasn’t getting along very well with technology. It was almost like Charlie was with the kitchen. I bit my lip and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll call her tomorrow,” I said.
Slowly, as the fire started burning out and the conversation dying out, we started putting the dishes in the sink and tidying the living room. I offered to do the dishes.
“You don’t have to do it tonight, Bells, we have tomorrow as well.”
“It’s alright, I don’t mind. Really,” I told Charlie.
“I’ll come and help you,” Jacob said and eagerly stood up, picking up the last dishes and glasses and brought them with him into the kitchen.
“You can go back inside, I can do some simple chores on my own,” I said to Jacob while carefully, trying not to drop the plates I was holding on the floor. I had dropped other things earlier tonight but thankfully nothing made of glass or porcelain, just an empty plastic bowl and a couple of spoons.
I was about to take the last dish from Jacob when it just slipped out of my hands. I tried to catch it at the same time Jacob did. The dish smashed on the kitchen tiles and I ended up falling on Jacob. He held my arm, trying to steady me and get up.
“Careful, don’t touch any of the shards, you’ll get cut,” he warned and froze as he let go of my hand. A bloody print of my palm was left in his. I closed my eyes for a second, trying to push away the nausea that rushed at the sight of blood and breathed deeply.
“Too late for that, huh?” I asked, trying to make a joke out of it.
I still hadn’t opened my eyes yet; I felt Jacob opening my fist and heard water flowing. When I dared to peek he was cleaning my palm with a wet cloth. “I’m sorry,” I said finally.
He smiled that sweet smile of his again that spread from the one side of his face to the other. “Why would you be sorry? It was an accident.”
“I’m a walking catastrophe.”
“Yeah, Bella, you’re shameless,” Jacob said sarcastically, smirking.
I shook my head and shuddered at the closeness of Jacob’s body. “Um… I think we have bandages in the cabinet in the bathroom just next to the kitchen,” I said.
“Think we’re gonna need some.” And with that he vanished from the kitchen heading into the bathroom.
Charlie’s head showed at the door with Billy in his wheelchair right on his tracks. “What happened?” he asked looking at me, holding my wrist. His eyes looked down at the mess my clumsiness had caused. Pieces of shattered porcelain were scattered everywhere on the floor and there was a small stain of red by my feet which I really hoped that Charlie would mistake with ketchup. By the way his eyes grew huge, apparently, he didn’t. “Are you okay, Bella?”
I nodded and tried to smile. “Just a broken dish. I’ll clean it up,” I said quietly, going for the broom next to the back door, trying to hide my still bleeding hand. Jacob returned with the bandages in one hand and hurried to my side. “Um, thanks, Jake.”
I saw Charlie and Billy discreetly vanishing into the living room again. Jacob was unwrapping the bandage to wrap it around my hand.
“I’m fine, I can do it on my own,” I said. Since last winter when I met the Cullens, I had grown cautious with wounds and accidents. Not that I managed to fall or get hit less, I just made my best to avoid them. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be with normal humans who didn’t mind blood. Or at least the scent of it didn’t cause any… complications.
“I don’t mind. I remember how much you dislike the sight of blood,” he said softly, continuing his meticulous task.
“You remember? How?” Had I told him and couldn’t remember it? I wondered.
“When you were eleven, we were playing at First Beach and you fell down and scratched your knee on a sharp rock. You wouldn’t even dare to look down at it.” I could see a faint smile forming on his face and he looked like he was trying to hide it.
“I can’t remember it… I used to fall down a lot when I was little.”
“Becoming forgetful in your old age, Bella, or what?” he asked jokingly, shaking from laughter. I giggled too. He finished and let go of my hand. “There. You’re ready. Want me to kiss it and make it better sooner?” he asked, smirking.
With my good hand, I playfully punched him in the shoulder. “Oh, shut up, Black.”
We both laughed for a second, looking at each other silently. For a brief second, I felt like nothing could touch me; I was complete, happy.
I nervously bit at my lip. “It was sweet of you to remember that. Not many people other than my parents know it. And…” I stopped. I was about to say “And Edward.” He knew about it. When we did the blood typing in Biology last year, he had seen me going to the nurse.
“And…?” he inquired.
“And now you too,” I said.
He seemed surprised by my answer. I was a little surprised by it too. Honestly, I didn’t expect me to answer at all. At such moments, I usually felt at a complete loss of words and all that would come to me were tears.
“Jacob!” Billy called from the living room.
“I think that means I have to go.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I think so too.”
“It was nice seeing you again, Bella.”
Surprising myself even more, I said, “I could come by the Rez sometime, we could hang out.”
His face lit up. “Really? I mean, yeah, sure. You’re welcome anytime.”
“I’ll call you.”
“Great. That’s nice. Sure.” And with a goofy grin on his face, he practically skipped out of the room.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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